Monday, October 11, 2010

THAT Question *(revised)

I've done a pretty good job of not testing the limited capacity of my brain lately and keeping my posts fairly shallow...but today Erica asked me how we answer THAT question, you know the one, "Why are you adopting from China and not here?"

First, let me say that we have many dear friends who have already or are adopting from all over the world, including here in the US, so you will not hear me criticize domestic adoption.

The next thing you should know is that my dear husband is much more eloquent at answering this question than I! My husband has such a love for Jesus that he can bring Him into any conversation, as if He were physically present.

My answer tends to vary, depending on the tone of the question. For instance, if someone is asking flippantly or sarcastically, my answer will be different. Sadly, I rarely get asked this question directly. Usually it is asked of a friend, who then gets to answer on our behalf.

So, no matter the tone of the question, my husband will answer consistently ~
"Imagine you are God, looking at the world you've created. You see North America, Asia, Europe, Africa...and the 147 million children who have been orphaned. Do you think you would love the children here any more or less than the children there?"

My answers are not as eloquent. I am typically caught off guard and left speechless, but in a moment of lucidity, I will respond, "Because that's where my children were," or, "That's where God called us."

Afterward I can think of a hundred less-than-serious responses, like, "Have you seen how beautiful my children are?" "I love Chinese food," or "How many have you adopted?" Because the truth is, most people who have asked us this question have no experience with adoption.

Please don't get me wrong ~ I'm not one of those adoptive parents walking around in defense mode, waiting to bite the head off the next person to ask a question. Yes, I've met some of them, and they don't represent the adoption community well. I love talking adoption and prefer a setting that allows us to sit a spell while I share my heart, but that's not always the circumstance.

I would love the opportunity to say that until seven years ago I knew nothing about adoption, the orphan or God's heart on the matter. I was a typical 'living-the-American-dream' Christian with 3 kids, a retirement account and good job. Fortunately, He radically changed my heart in an instant by allowing my ordinary family to live an extraordinary life of loving Him by loving the least of these. I have seen the ransom paid, redemption given, citizenship changed...and I have gladly given up the retirement account and all my plans and dreams for the hope that He has given!

Another thing to consider is now my children are getting older, and one is learning English well enough to understand my response by my body language, as well as my words.

I want my answers to show them that I am proud of who they are, where they come from, where they are now, and that they are chosen ~
so they will be proud of who they are, where they come from, where they are now...and to know they are chosen!


Jean said...

I am not the eloquent one either- hubby is and he says it so well.

I just wish my words would show the passion in my heart. I realize that is not my talent- instead I will show the world the beauty of adoption - since my words are so inadequate.

great post!

Rebekah said...

Beautifully said! I'm still in the paperchase for our first adoption, so I am definitely still learning how to answer these questions.

Martha said...

I think you disproved your thought about not being eloquent. Beautifully said. Maybe we should both print this and keep it in our pockets. That way when people ask and we are stumped, we can just share this response.

Barb said...


Erica said...

You do have a great husband that can answer that question!!! I am glad that you can share the response and the word!! Miss you guys!

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