The Journey ~ Reflection and Thankfulness

We had an incredible trip to China.  Well, if you consider no flight delays and the entire trip taking only 19 hours, it was incredible!

We landed in Beijing at 3:15 pm Thursday, and were met by our guide, Angela!  I've been wanting to meet this incredible gal for years!Angela is co-founder of Ladybugs N Love, and she's sent tons of care packages to our waiting children over the years.  If you need to send a care package, get an update or need an incredible gal, she's the one, y'all!

We settled into our room, enjoyed noodles and dumplings and crashed by 8 pm to prepare for a full Friday.  We checked out at 6:30 am, and one of the places we visited was the Great Wall.

 This is my fifth visit to one of the Seven Wonders of the World, and honestly, it continues to awe me.

It was such a beautiful day we just sat on one of the watch towers and talked about our common passion - Jesus.

 We tried something new - a toboggan ride down the hill.  It was the best!

 We took our time having dinner with Angela and our driver before heading to the airport for our next destination, Zhengzhou!

We checked into the Hilton in ZZ at 1:30 am, and I was suddenly wide awake at the sight of this:

An empty crib which will soon hold a very special treasure.

That got me thinking...
We are so blessed to even be here.  On this journey.  Starting another adventure.  Adding another family member.  
Who knew?
Ten months ago it went something like this:  I saw a picture of a beautiful little guy and texted Clayton, "There is a precious little treasure who needs a family," and his reply was, "Then we will pray for a family."  I said, "No, we are his family!"
Crickets...
That night we talked and prayed, and the next day he said, "Yes."
Yes to an amazing little boy.  And yes to surrender.  We knew we couldn't do this on our own.  All we had to offer was our hearts and our home.  That.is.all.
So, from the moment we said yes till the day before we traveled, we praised God that He would bring our son home, in His time and in His provision.  
We fundraised the entire time.  Some days it felt like I might hit a wall.  It was exhausting, and yet I always had enough energy to carry on.
It was humbling.
Asking for help always is.
Selling t-shirts, baking goodies, planning dinners, sorting through and pricing mounds of treasures donated for 2 garage sales, applying for grants, shaving every dollar we could from paychecks, it seemed like we were thousands of dollars away.  And then it all came together.  Right.on.time.
And we were amazed.  We still are.
It's what we had prayed for and praised God for. And yet, we were amazed.
Although we prayed expectantly and praised God constantly, we never took for granted that we'd be able to bring our son home.
The process is arduous.  Sometimes even disheartening.  There is room for fear.  And doubt.  And even though they may seem valid, doubt and fear are from the enemy.  He hates families.  He hates redemption.
Only God can move mountains and beat insurmountable odds to redeem a life.
And so we are in awe.
We are humbled.
We are thankful.
So many of you have joined us in this journey!  You have prayed.  You have encouraged.  You have shared.  You have given.  Even sacrificially.  Thank you isn't sufficient.  You will never know how thankful we are for the part you've played in helping us bring Kaison home.  From the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!
In 48 hours we will hold our precious son.  And you can witness the fruition of God's plans.  Something only He could stir in our hearts.

TO HIM BE ALL GLORY!

Lifesong and Karis Adoption Fund Matching Grant!

March 20, 2016  

                                                                                                  

Dear Family and Friends,

Some of you know the desire God has placed in our hearts to care for the orphan through adoption. We are so blessed to grow our family through the miracle of adoption. We expect to travel to China in May to hold our newest son, Kaison Joel!

What has prompted us to adopt? Primarily, we’ve felt so clearly directed by God to adopt that we want to joyfully obey Him. God desires for orphans of all nations to be loved, cared for, and adopted into Christian families—ultimately so they can become saved and adopted into His eternal family through Jesus Christ. There are over 147 million orphans worldwide and 120,000 children currently in the U.S. foster care system. It is estimated that less than 10 percent of these children are adopted into evangelical Christian families.

The biggest challenge is not opening our hearts and home to a child, but it is finding the finances to make this happen. The approximate cost for the adoption from China is $40,000. We don’t have that kind of money, but we know God is faithful and is leading us to trust Him. Honestly, it’s a little difficult (because of our pride) to make our needs known to the body of Christ, but realize it is biblical to do so. Your friendship is important to us, and we would love for you to pray and consider helping us in one or two ways with our adoption.

1. Please pray God would prepare Kaison as he leaves all he has ever known as “home” to join our family, and that God would give us wisdom, discernment, and insight as we raise him to know Jesus.

2. An Oklahoma ministry, Karis Adoption Fund, has partnered with Lifesong for Orphans and committed an Adoption Matching Grant of $5,000 to help toward our adoption expenses. Would you please consider making a tax-deductible donation to help us meet this matching grant? Our goal date is May 1, but funds will be accepted towards our adoption until the date we travel.

Please make checks payable to “Lifesong for Orphans.” In the memo, note family account number “5903” and family name “Johnson” to assure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to Lifesong for Orphans, PO Box 40, Gridley, IL 61744.

100% of your donation will go directly to the adoption.

Another option is to give online. Go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate. Select “Give to an Adoptive Family.” Complete the online form and fill in “Family Account Number, 5903” and “Family Name, Johnson” Fields.

In following IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization. This organization retains full discretion over its use, but intends to honor the donor’s suggested use. Individual donations of $50 or more and yearly donations totaling $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $50 will gladly be sent upon request. Lifesong is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization.

Thank you for investing in the Kingdom through prayer and finances—it will be an investment with an eternal return! Please pray this entire process will glorify God and fulfill His purposes.

Family Name: Johnson

Family Account Number: 5903                                                                                                   

In Christ,

Clayton and Connie Johnson and the entire Johnson Krew    

Back to the Beginning

The things that swirl around in my head.  Some make it here, but these days most never do.  There just isn't time.  Or they just don't seem that important.  Or maybe I lose clarity between thoughts and words.  But this one thing is real.  It's been a struggle.  Maybe you're with me.  Maybe you're not.  Maybe you know someone who is.

As my friends, far and near, post awesome pictures of fun activities, vacations, and even their daily happenings, it causes me to view my world differently.  It's not that I'm mad or sad or jealous (well, maybe that creeps in a little sometimes - ha), but it skews my view.

It reminds me of how different my life is now.  How different it is from what I'd planned as a young adult.  Before I knew the truth.

While others are deciding which movie to watch, where they will go out to eat, whether they will drive or fly to their vacay destination, my decisions look a little different.

Do we really need groceries today?
Is it worth leaving home at 5 a.m. to buy groceries alone?
Will I wash darks or whites?
Will it be a two or ten-load day?
Will I have time to get that clean laundry off the table?
Do I bother putting pants on the toddler?
How much can I get done before they all wake up?
Where's my weekly menu?
Did I make a menu?
Frozen chicken strips or fish sticks?
Does the sprinkler or pool constitute a bath?
Can the return phone calls wait till nap time?
Do I hide the tape here or there? (yeah, you know it!)
What's the best educational screen time option?

And when I compare these seemingly less-than-earth-shattering decisions to others, it does something to me.  Something I don't like.  It makes me feel less than.  Under-qualified.  Isolated.  Different.  

After all, the majority of moms my age are free to meet for lunch, have meaningful conversation, read a good book (oh, I do miss that!), have a flower garden, or plan a day trip.  They certainly aren't making bottles, cutting up food, wiping bottoms, packing a diaper bag, trying to squeeze in a play date or warning their big kids' friends about the crowd that is their family.

This was such a struggle for me...until I realized I was seeing it all wrong.  It's not right for me to compare.  This is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing right now.  It's even what I've wanted to do ever since my eyes were opened to the truth.

I've never considered myself the mom that is all that, nor did I need to be.  There was that one time when I had three kids and took them to that fast food joint with the play area and the giant clown, and the two-year-old slipped on the wet floor, running his teeth through his lip, while the one-year-old sat in the high chair and the nine-year-old tried to enjoy his meal.  It took two of us to gather them up and get to the ER.  It's not like I'm qualified to parent a dozen kids!  I could write a book on my parenting failures...but that wouldn't be the right thing to do.

Because 14 years ago I was changed.  In 2001 the King of Kings captured my heart and brought me to repentance, forever changing my heart, continually drawing me to Himself and giving me the Power to see the world differently... and to seek different things.

In 2003, when I was still weaning off of spiritual milk,  my eyes were opened to a horrible truth I couldn't ignore or wish away.  The truth that, although I thought my family was complete and although I wasn't in the running for Mother of the Year, there are children all over the world who have nothing. They lack everything.  Family.  Food.  Shelter.  Clean water. Clothing.  HOPE. 

And since I had fully surrendered my heart and my life, giving up my right to all that is solely for myself (which is a daily battle), I knew that armed with the knowledge that there are children who need a family, I could not sit idly by, simply wishing them well.

If you say, "See, we did not know this," does He not consider it who weighs the hearts? And does He not know it who keeps your soul? And will He not render to man according to his work?

Proverbs 24:12

See, I can't know the right thing to do and choose to NOT do the right thing.  My eyes were opened, my heart was fresh, and my hands were ready.  I asked for this.  I said yes to this.  This.is.what.I.signed.up.for.  This doesn't make me a better mom or a more holy follower.  It makes me full.  And content.  And joyful.  And different. 

See, I get it now.  When the Lord plucks us out of the miry pit, He doesn't intend for us to keep going back to wallow in it!  He doesn't intend for us to live it in drudgery, and He doesn't intend for each of our journeys to look the same.  In fact, they should look different!  Not only different from before our eyes were opened, but different from one another.

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ.

1 Cor 12:12

We are thriving in joy in different ways, but all for one Kingdom.  

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Prov 16:9

So my life looks different from other moms my age.  Maybe yours does too?  I would come to grips with it one moment and love it, and the next I would find myself clawing my way back to the pit.  Living in the pit is not fair to my family, this big, beautiful family the Lord has entrusted to me.  My mood was somber, my tone was harsh, my words weren't always life-giving.  I can't pinpoint the moment that my self-seeking, pitiful first-world-tainted vision became clear, but when it did, it changed everything!

The Lord broke my heart and gave me a dream bigger than myself.  He has been faithful to keep His promises, but what am I doing with them?  He has blessed me with three children from a once feared barren womb and has plucked nine from impoverished circumstances, entrusting each to my care.  He has entrusted me to love, nurture, discipline and shape them.  Without Him it is an impossible task, but with Him it is a privilege.  It is not okay for me to simply give them better than they had; it is right for me to give them the best that I have.

I had to look far beyond myself to realize it.  I had to go back to the beginning, 14 years ago, to understand where I am today.  

Maybe you're with me, struggling to find the joy in the daily-ness that is your life.  Or maybe your struggle is that you know your life should look different, but.it.just.doesn't.  I'm not talking about adoption; I'm talking about surrender.

I'm not pointing fingers at you for taking a vacation or shopping for fun.  I may even live vicariously through you!  I will stop comparing our lives.  I will continue to search my own heart to discover whether I've given my all and I'm basking in the joy of a life that looks different.  

If You Ask Me Why

Nearly 11 months ago my heart raced as I shared the heartache and burden I felt for abandoned children with my husband.  I asked him if we could add 'just one more' to our family.  Maybe even a precious child who is harder to place.  It was crazy for so many reasons.

*We were working hard to pay off debt, including adoption debt

*We were in a pretty good routine with all the necessary medical visits

*We would have two kids entering college within the next 18 months

*We have five sets of bunk beds

*We haven't added onto our house

*But mostly, we had about this much money:

 And an adoption process costs more than this much:

We knew we could supply all the love, nurture and care that our next child would need, but we didn't know how we would cover the cost of the process itself.  We surrendered.  We were all in.  Committed.  After all, we'd had some extraordinary fundraising results in the past.  (*My mistake: to trust my own efforts!*)

We spent much time in prayer.  We thanked the Lord in advance for what He was going to do, knowing full well this would never come to pass without Him.  We set out to change the status of a precious little boy whose file showed marked delays stemming from a neurological event prior to his birth.  He wasn't sitting up at 13 months.  He'd had a cardiology workup and a brain scan showing large pockets of fluid.  But we've seen this before.

As for the process, it's changed even since Khloie came home two years ago, and we would need a bundle of cash to get the ball rolling.  I was sharing our exciting news with a friend and asking her to pray for us when she informed me that her new business was doing so well she wanted to bless us with the funds to get started!

Then a family member whom we've never had the privilege to meet contacted us and said he and his wife wanted to help - and help they did!

We were asked to share our adoption testimony with a nearby church, and although these days it's difficult for me to even organize my thoughts, much less convey them intelligently, we agreed.  We were absolutely blown away by the love offering they gave!

We had enough to cover our home study and first agency fee.  

I felt I needed to get to 'work' at fundraising so I had a sweet friend design a t-shirt specifically for our family.  We called it the Treasure Tee, and it was simple, yet held the message of our hearts: 

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.  

Matthew 6:21

In July, unbeknownst to us, our family was recommended to a business owner for adoption sponsorship.  He agreed to sponsor our family and ultimately would pay roughly one-third of our adoption costs!

And then there are the adoptive families.  Many also in the process.  And they choose to give.  

Over time we held a few giveaways, but over all I was feeling like a failure at fundraising.  

I finally asked the Lord to show me when to move and when to rest.  He kept telling me to rest, and I wasn't sure I was hearing Him right because sitting still isn't my nature.  But truth is, every time I moved, I proved I couldn't accomplish the task.  He had such different plans for us this time.

We decided to lay low on the fundraising and simply trust, all the while telling Him we would work hard and do whatever we needed to do.

In July we would have the best sweet corn crop since our first harvest in 2008, and we wondered if we could pull off a BBQ fundraiser...in the middle of our 18-hour work days and on one of the hottest days of the year!  We only had less than two weeks to prepare, and we kept wavering back and forth as to whether it was a good idea.  Just when my energy level would plummet, the Lord would nudge me forward, affirming this was His idea and His provision.  We prepared pulled pork, sweet corn, strawberry sheet cake and brownies, and the cost was 'by donation'.  The volleyball nets, tents, straw bales and tables were all furnished by friends, and it turned out beautifully!  At the end of the night, we praised the Father for His amazing provision!

It was time to rest again.  We just didn't sense that we were to move forward on any particular fundraising.  We stretched our paychecks to the limit after giving a portion and saving a tiny portion.

Clayton was working extra hours, and then the unthinkable happened.  He fell from scaffolding, resulting in a broken ankle, a splenectomy, 15 days in the hospital, a slight complication, and three and a half months off work.  I was so consumed with my husband getting well and so grateful that he was alive that I put all thoughts of adoption fundraising on the back burner.  Yet, the Lord was working!

We were scheduled to speak at our friends' church for Orphan Sunday in November, but that was out of the question since we were in the hospital.  Instead we wrote out our testimony and sent a video for sharing.  And we were blessed with a love offering, even in our absence!

We also received another unexpected blessing while in the hospital ~ three short videos of our little guy.  He was running!  Climbing!  Responding!

In December a sweet friend offered to host an on-line auction a few weeks before Christmas, and even though our present circumstances were a bit overwhelming, we did it.  We received awesome items, and raised over $1500, thanks to our hard-working friend and our faithful Father!

Soon after, one of our on-line friends and auction vendors was praying about giving toward our adoption, and let us know that she and her husband were contributing the orphanage donation of $5700!

In the wait for our LOA, I completed many applications for adoption assistance grants.  We were blessed to receive four grants, the largest of which we just received approval for today, 10 days before we travel!

In the adoption process, there are few things we truly have control over, and that is basically the speed at which we complete the paper work.  The rest is completely out of our hands.  We've had some curve balls thrown our way during this process, all of which were beyond our control.  And maybe, just maybe, the Lord needed to show me that I cannot rely on myself.  That what worked yesterday will not work today when I'm trusting my own ability.

Even with some of the obstacles, it never occurred to us to throw in the towel.  Never.  Because whatever we are going through, there are multitudes of others enduring much worse.

We can romanticize adoption and make it all about happy endings.  We will post great pictures while we're in China.  We will watch our son blossom before our eyes.  And when he comes home, our friends and family will see a cute, active toddler who will meld into our family just like his siblings have.  We will no longer see an orphan living in a crowded room, sleeping on a plywood mattress, alongside others his age, all who gave up crying a long time ago.  Because whether they were wet, hungry, cold or thirsty, all the crying in the world wouldn't bring help.

We don't see the precious baby that was left, for whatever reason, on a curb, a doorstep, in a toilet, on the roadside, meant to be found...or not.

So if you ask me why we would endure the humility of fundraising, the ridicule of those who don't understand, give up some of the conveniences and comforts of this world, and add to our family at our age, I will tell you that we have been blessed.  Transformed.  Broken.  Ruined.  Thankfully so.  And we have been commanded 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.”  Luke 10:27

 If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food,  and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.  James 2:15-17

And by this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments.  Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him,  but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him:  whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.  1 John 2:3-6

I Woke Up...

 Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!  Psalm 106:1

This morning I woke up to ...

*Dishes scattered (not stacked) along every square inch of counter space, because that's the way they were when we left the house yesterday morning for an all-day doctor's appointment, got home just in time for kids' after school snack and left again for church, only to return for all-around bath time and last-minute homework

*Three bathrooms screaming for cleaning

*One load of clean towels on the kitchen table (thank goodness, because the bathroom cabinets are empty)

*At least ten loads of dirty laundry

*Enough crunchies on the floor to make me grit my teeth

*A Bible study to complete

*An unfinished sewing project on the kitchen table (opposite end of the laundry)

*Stacks of paperwork in order of priority on my desk

*A transcript needing final proofreading

*Two phone calls to be returned

*One dental appointment to be made

*One prescription to be picked up

*One birthday to prepare for

Are you right there with me?  I feel better knowing I'm not alone :/

We are conquerors!  Because we woke up...and we got up!

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24

I used to go to bed with the dishes done and put away, and ditto for the laundry.

I guess that was before I had a preschooler at home, six kids to get on the bus, one to pray off to high school, one to pray off to college, one to pray for in job training, one to pray for in marriage, and one to pray home from China.

So, I got up and praised the Lord.  I ignored all the things I really longed to have done yesterday and went instead to my Bible study.  Because while tidying up the outside does bring some calm to the chaotic inside, cleansing the inside brings the strength to change the outside in due time.

It is in vain that you rise up early
    and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil;
    for he gives to his beloved sleep.  Psalm 127:2


Lord, help me to put the first things first, without grumbling and complaining.  Help me to keep You first, and give me strength to do what comes next.  May You alone be glorified.

Where We Were; Where We Are; Where We Will Be

We've had a crazy couple of months.  In fact, as I reflect on 2014, it's been a pretty wild ride. 

I'm so excited to share where we are now, and where we will be very soon!

We are literally weeks from traveling to bring Kohlby home.  Our Article 5 will be picked up on January 29, and then we'll be awaiting Travel Approval.  TA came in 3 days last time.  While I'm not anticipating that happening again, we know it's possible.

We have seen God's hand in every step of this process, from moving us to say "Yes" to providing the dollars as they were needed.  I know I've said it before, but we didn't have any funds to start the adoption process.  Yet, we knew we were to move forward in faith.  
Trusting.  
Abiding.  
Praising.

He is so faithful to Himself!  Only He could have orchestrated what I'm about to share with you.  Back in June the Lord placed our family on the heart of an adoptive mama (JH), unbeknownst to us.  That mama contacted another adoptive mama (LP), letting her know that we were fundraising our way back to China.  The second mama recommended our family for prospective sponsorship to her friend and business owner (FS).  *I'm sorry for the anonymity, but we have promised not to share names, and these folks know who they are*
We submitted an application for sponsorship, and in July received the call that we were accepted!

There was no specific amount promised, only that the business would send a portion of its proceeds to our agency as they became available.  They sponsor adoption-specific funds, excluding airfare, lodging, meals and costs incurred if the trip were a vacation.

We presumed it would total a 'typical' grant amount of $3000.  Can I just tell you that it has far exceeded that amount, and the Lord has worked beyond our imagination through FS!  They are still sending funds to our agency almost weekly.

Neither we nor this business knew that our boat would be rocked in October when Clayton was involved in an accident that would whittle our budget to a frayed shoestring and distract us from fundraising BUT would cause us to rest in the Lord as we took care of first things first.  

*Update on my hardworking man*  I'm so proud of him for following doctor's orders and taking the necessary time to heal.  He was making an incredible recovery, and appeared he would not need either the skin or bone graft.  Recovery took a bit of a turn Wednesday, and the short story is that we will know Tuesday if additional surgery is needed to remove the hardware which has caused infection.  We would truly appreciate your prayers for healing!

In December another amazing family told us they'd been praying about how to give toward our adoption, and the Lord led them to give the orphanage donation: $5700!

And here's where we are: With weeks till we travel, we've put a pencil to paper and estimated that we are still $8000 short in funds.

For weeks we've been praying for the Lord to show us what our part is in raising the last funds.  For weeks the answer has been "rest."  

Then, a few days ago we felt peace about sharing our need and getting to work.

The next day another adoptive mama shared a fundraiser with me.  The more I read about it, the more it touched my heart.  But that wasn't quite enough to move forward.  

Because we don't just want to receive; we want to give.

And then the Lord revealed exactly what we are to do.  We have chosen the Apparent Project!  whose mission is: 
"To keep families together... Besides redeeming family situations, the Apparent Project artisan guild is dedicated to redeeming creation and cleaning up Haiti's landscapes through producing unique 'upcycled' artisan goods."

Pay-It-Forward Bracelet Fundraiser FAQ

*So, what exactly are you doing?
We're offering the handmade bracelets to you!
*How much are they?
You can choose the amount you wish to give and the number of bracelets you want to receive.
*Why are you calling it Pay-It-Forward?
That's the coolest part! It will cost us a certain amount per bracelet, but if we can reach our $8000 goal, we will give an additional 10% of all proceeds to the Apparent Project.  So your gift is two-fold: it helps bring a former orphan from China home to his family, AND it provides hope to families in Haiti!
*Where can I give?
The PayPal Button in the sidebar will allow you to choose the $ amount and number of bracelets.

We want to praise God for all He has done in our adoption journey, for stretching us and growing our faith, and we want to thank Him in advance for providing all we will need to get our boy home!

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

John 14:18

 

When I Lost My Smile

My optimistic attitude and faith have served as great companions in supplying endurance in the most difficult circumstances.  Even when my first response is of the flesh, the Lord always gives me new perspective and changes my heart on the matter.

Sometimes He removes the obstacle, sometimes He walks me around it, and sometimes He allows me to struggle, chin-deep in the quicksand of the matter.

No matter His method of leading me, He has never left me to fend for myself, and He’s always brought me through the fire refined.

During the past five years our family has danced with the flames of darkness, grief, loss and incessant turmoil.  No matter how upbeat or how great a sense of humor I once had, somewhere along the way I succumbed to the flames and lost my smile.

I knew from the depths of my soul that the Lord had not left me and that He had much to teach me.  He brought me face to face with my own sin of selfishness and independence.  Yet I couldn’t break the chains of my flesh.  Or rather, I wouldn’t.

Each day brought more chaos, more pressure and required more action to bring resolution.  The burden to try to keep the wheels of our family of 12 running smoothly are lofty under normal circumstances, but add the medical needs of five precious children, the daily in-your-face battles, and I became resentful and bitter.  I’d lost my emotions and even forgotten how to laugh.  

Each opportunity the Lord gave me to trust Him, no matter to what degree I tried at first, I would ultimately cave to my own need for control.

Please understand that I’m not proud of this, but my prayer is that the Lord might use my transparency to minister to your heart in the midst of suffering.

Oh, I continued to put one foot in front of the other.  I performed all the necessary duties of a wife and mom, and  I traveled back and forth to numerous medical visits without a problem, but when it came to the biggest thing the Lord was using to change my heart, I dug my heels in every.single.time, which meant about a thousand times a day.  Fail.

And yet, His mercies are new each morning.  His grace is sufficient, His patience is unimaginable, His presence is constant, and He is the Source of love.

Each time I shook my finger at the situation was as if I were looking in a mirror reflecting my own black heart.  I was convicted of how the Lord drew me to Himself and Jesus brought me from death to life.  So what was wrong with me?  I’m a Christ follower!  The Spirit dwells within me.  He has given me a new heart.  He continues to diminish my desire for the things of this world and long for Him.  I kept hoping, praying and waiting for Him to change the situation.  Otherwise, it would require changing ME, and apparently I was running from that, unwilling to repent.  

To this day I am amazed at His patient pursuit of me.

The situation is not entirely resolved, but the Lord is doing an amazing work in my heart.  He has brought me to a place of brokenness and complete dependence upon Him.  There is a spring in my step and a smile on my face.  Only by His grace. 

The bitterness was hurting my family, and the need for control was driving me further away from those I love.  The Lord brought me to repentance and complete surrender.  I still battle the flesh, but I have an arsenal of Truth as my first line of defense.

Have you lost your smile?

Fear not!

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  Isaiah 43:2

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17

I will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.  Ezekiel  11:19b 

Three Lovely Letters!

Yes!  We are Dossier To China!
It was 5 months ago that we committed to bring Kohlby home, and we finally have all the necessary paperwork completed on the US side.
What's next?
Glad you asked!
Our dossier will be logged in with the officials in China (CCCWA) within the next month or so, and we then wait for the LOA, which is basically China saying our family is officially approved to bring Kohlby home.
We then submit that approval, along with other paperwork, to US Immigration where they approve our family to adopt our specific child in his specific location and then forward that approval to the US Consulate in China so they can begin to process his paperwork.
That paperwork will then be sent to the CCCWA, who will then issue our travel approval.
Once we have travel approval, our agency will request a consulate date, and once that date is confirmed...we book airline tickets!

Clear as mud?  Thought so.
What's the time frame?  No idea.  But I can speculate early *please, Lord, let it be early* spring.
We need to get busy fundraising!  But more than anything else, we must be in prayer and constantly praising God!  Will you join us?!?

Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.  Psalm 106:1

Detours

The story of Jonah’s reluctance to obey God and go to Ninevah to “cry out against it” reminds me of my own reluctance to fully trust and obey Him. Jonah tried to run as far as he could in the opposite direction. 

Though I may not physically board a ship, I often respond in disobedience for reasons which may seem legitimate. 
*“God, that is impossible.” 
*“Lord, You know how people already think I’m crazy.” 
*“I’m not sure I heard you clearly so let me talk this over with someone.” 
*“But, Lord, I’m X old.” 
*“I promise to be faithful…later.” 
*“I have nothing to offer.” 
*“That’s not my calling.” 
*“But that would require so much of me.” 

While wise counsel is good, nothing trumps the Word of the Lord. And the things He calls us to are impossible…for us. Otherwise, we wouldn’t need Him, and the glory would only be ours. And considering the sacrifice He made for us, can we really offer too much? Though it is the way of the world, are we more concerned about pleasing the Lord or man? 

I praise the Lord that He is a God of second chances…and endless mercy. 

Just as Jonah came to realize how wrong he was to run from God, so can we. Hopefully we aren’t in the belly of a big fish when we see the light. 

Our moment of realization may come in missed opportunities, more trouble, falling prey to the lies of the enemy or sinking into sin. 

Where is your Ninevah? And what is causing you to detour?

If You Give a Kid a Hoe...

Since Mr. Greenthumb raises some of the best sweet corn around...and melons, and cantaloupe, and cucumbers...we have a lot of weeds to keep up with!  And since Mr. Greenthumb learned to use a hoe when he was "knee high to a grasshopper," we thought it was high time our Treasures learned to take care of the produce they love to eat.

It was a great idea, in theory.

He shared the special technique of proper hoeing, just as his dad shared with him years ago.

All that wisdom and sound teaching reaped the reward of...
cute little holes

and weeded tire tracks :)

But they worked as a team!

Sorta

The big boys were a team, for sure!

And then the rain came!

So, if you give a kid a hoe...

Something will grow!