When Love Looks Different

What if love looks different than we expect or imagine?

What if love is hard?

What if many don't understand when love looks different?

When we plan to become parents, we have a flood of emotions, including excitement! Particularly as adoptive parents, because let’s face it, no one accidentally becomes an adoptive parent.

As parents, we have great expectations, hopes, dreams and love for our children.

But what if:

~The best way to love them isn’t the easiest way?

~The scars of their past have left an impenetrable barrier to the heart?

~Our love isn’t enough to heal them?

~We know there is One who can, but they can’t fathom it?

~Our tangible kindness causes a response of fear because it is foreign to them?

~They don’t know how to give love back?

What if we love them so much we will do things radical, sacrificial and misunderstood to help them heal?

What does a different kind of love look like?

Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas Iscariot, son of Simon. John 13:26

Jesus knew that Judas would betray him, but it didn’t change His love for Judas!

At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said: “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:20-21

Job had lost everything, and he still acknowledged God’s sovereignty and loved Him!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

God’s love for us is so great that He came down from glory in the form of a man (yet, completely God) and died for the sin of all mankind.

But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Matthew 5:39-41

Jesus commands us to do the unthinkable ~ love those who wrong us.

Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” And immediately the leprosy left him. Luke 5:13

Lepers were untouchable, yet Jesus touched the man because He loved him!

He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.” Acts 9:4-6

This man who persecuted Christians was loved by God, chosen by God and ultimately devoted his life to sharing that love!

Just a few examples of when love looks different.

I’m a long way from loving like Jesus does, but I am “being renewed day by day.” 2 Cor 4:16

We are relying on the strength of the Holy Spirit as we love all our children, but especially one, in a way that looks different. Truth is, it’s hard. It’s lonely. It’s radical. I would say it’s a sacrifice, but can I really use that term after all that Christ has done for me?

Despite all of that, it is good! We have hope! Not because we always make the right decisions, but because God never makes mistakes. We are standing firm on His promises and watching expectantly as He brings healing and victory to our child!

God alone brings beauty from ashes – from the ashes of our mistakes, our sin, our pain, and our sorrow.

And that is a very different kind of love!

Kisses from Katie

I just love Katie's heart!

I don't know about you...

...but I can learn a lot about the Father's love from her.

Krazy Love

If you aren’t a regular over at A Place Called Simplicity, you simply must check it out. You could randomly select any post and know how crazy in love with Jesus and the orphan Linny and DW are!


She’s issued this amazing Crazy Love challenge asking folks to share their needs so the body of Christ can read about them, pray about them, and maybe even meet them, as the Spirit leads. Seriously. Put ‘em out there. That’s a hard one! As one hand is typing, the other wants to delete here. In fact, it’s taken me two days to decide to post this.

Some of you have read of our complete ignorance of adoption and then how God instantly gripped our hearts in late 2003. We praise Him for allowing us to be a voice for those without one ever since. There hasn’t been a time since 2003 that we weren’t in the adoption process. We’ve been home almost five months with our two newest treasures, and we’re still making changes in our household.

We have been incredibly blessed to grow our family by five over the last six years, and what’s truly amazing is that we never had money set aside for any of the adoptions.

We love hearing how God has touched a family’s heart for adoption, the mountains He moves to bring His plans to fruition, and the opportunity to invest in the miraculous journey. We usually hear of a family’s need before the child is home, but I’m going to share our need afterward. Do you have any idea how difficult this is?!?


If you read this post on our blog, you already know that God still performs miracles today! His resources are unlimited, and just because He has provided miraculously already doesn’t mean He won’t do it again…and again…for every family!

In 2003 we jumped out of our comfort zone and followed God with reckless abandon. When we brought our daughter Kayden home in 2004, we still owed $9,000 on the process, but we knew we were supposed to adopt again. Saddled with that burden but armed with faith, we dove into our second process. We applied for grants, made and sold adoption decals, held a garage sale, whittled our budget and applied every extra penny to the process until we traveled for Kambry in 2007, only to realize that God had provided all the funds we needed, not only for the current process, but the first one as well!

Later in 2007 we again knew we were to adopt, and though our past costs were covered, we had nothing left. Again, we held fundraisers and applied for grants, but in the end we were $12,000 short when we brought Kaeleb home in 2008.

Nevertheless, we again recognized God’s voice in 2008 to begin an adoption process that ultimately would grow our family by two! We again applied for grants, held fundraisers, turned off cable, stopped eating out and saved every penny we could. Miraculously, a week before we traveled we had all we needed... until we found out our travel fees were more than expected. Through an amazing series of God-orchestrated events, we received gifts from other families and received an emergency interest-free loan, providing the final $4000 needed to make the trip for Kinley and Kooper!

Last year a water line broke and flooded our home, and while our insurance paid for most of the repairs, we were out of our home for two weeks and unable to work for nearly a month (we’re both self-employed), causing us to use our credit cards to pay bills. Folks, this is NOT how God wants us to live, accumulating debt! In retrospect, we could have probably made some different choices, even under circumstances beyond our control. We are paying the consequences for those.

The bottom line is we still owe the $12,000 from our third journey, $4,000 from our last journey and two months’ worth of bills on our credit cards.

Because our children’s needs are greater than we anticipated, we have had to reduce our work schedules to make sure one of us is always home to meet their needs. Our health insurance just increased to $670 per month with a $5000 deductible, and we have several procedures coming up. We have cashed out our small ‘retirement’ fund to pay toward our adoption costs because we know that everything we have truly belongs to the Lord and He gives us the opportunity to manage it.

What am I asking for? Simply that you would pray! Please pray that we would be good stewards of God’s provision, that we would give only Him the praise, and that we would not allow our present circumstances to hinder our listening to His call.

We are members of an amazing church (First Baptist Church Ringwood). Our church family has supported us through prayer and giving, and the number of adoptive families in our small church continues to grow, praise the Lord!


We have always tithed, but five months ago we were convicted to tithe from our gross proceeds rather than the amount after self-employment taxes and expenses. God has so blessed that decision! In fact, the morning after we made the decision to obey in tithing, we received an unexpected gift of $1000 toward our adoption process!

We love our church family and enjoy serving as: a Deacon family, part of the volunteer youth staff, youth Sunday school teachers, adoption ministry and bus maintenance :)

As much as we want to pay off our past adoption expenses, we have only been able to apply minimally.
But God…
Is our Provision;
Is in control;
Provides all we need;
Is teaching us to depend solely on Him;
Blesses our obedience;
Teaches us in the Khaos of daily life;
Extends His unending grace;
Doesn’t expect us to journey without Him!

We love answering questions about our adoption miracles, and you may contact us here. Thank you for praying for our family!