Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Storm Before the Calm (or something like that)

It's no secret we recently had a rough couple of weeks ~ lots of silence, frustration, drama, tears (maybe those were mine)... you name it, we've had it! BUT GOD...
is so faithful and so very good ALWAYS!

It's as if our son had reached a crossroads, not knowing which way to turn. Do I take the path of risk, risking rejection, fear and heartache? Or do I take the path of familiarity, going to that place of safety, where I trust no one and have to invest nothing? He chose the place of safety, internalizing everything, exposing himself to no one.

It's not that we weren't there for him; he just didn't accept our extended hand of love. Oh, how my heart hurt for him. He was completely overwhelmed. I felt sorry for him...and maybe a little angry too, unable to understand why he couldn't realize how much we love him and have poured ourselves into him.

But that is totally beyond his comprehension. When has he ever been in one place FOREVER? When has anyone ever been there for him FOREVER? When has anyone loved him, no matter what, FOREVER? He simply can't comprehend such a relationship.

Last Wednesday afternoon he began to veer to the other path, the one that allows him to slowly reopen his heart. He began to see that we expect great things for him and from him. It's as if he's finally challenged himself to trust someone US!

I've wanted to share this because so many of YOU are praying for us! God is hearing and answering those prayers. He is peeling away the fear in Kooper's heart, one layer at a time. He is replacing it with courage.

Kooper has begun sharing more of history; he has become more affectionate and relational; he has begun speaking in sentences (**squeal**); and he has begun asking for my help during school. This is huge! He has typically refused to turn to us for help, apparently seeing that as a form of weakness.

I know the tough days aren't over, but I admit that the really rough moments have been like a final push to look beyond ourselves in bringing healing. And while we are finding a few of the missing pieces to the puzzle of his life, the real hope and healing come from only One Source! We will never get it all right, but He never gets it wrong!

I suspect this transition is as much about what God wants to do in our hearts as Kooper's. So thank you for praying, and please don't stop. We all need Him to continue to transform us!

Now this is scary ;-)

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Col 4:2


Tami said...

We love you all and are continuing to pray for you - and especially for Kooper's continued healing. God is the "fixer" of broken hearts! So thankful for that!

Lori said...

I really needed to here that today, Connie! It's been a stressful one around here. I hate going from mountain peak to lowest of lows continually. Gosh, it's so hard.

Thanks for being YOU and for your honesty!!

Jodi Sue said...

So glad to hear this great news!!! Will be keeping y'all in prayer - call, text, email - whenever!!! Love your whole big family.

Howard and Kim said...

I know our prayers are always heard and answered, even when we don't see the answer. So thankful you've been allowed to see some of the answers to some of our prayers! We are continuing in prayer!

Chris said...

Continuing in prayer...I have a bio 14 y.o. that is a tough age to begin with.

Erica said...

I am praying! I am also squealing with you on the speaking in sentences part lol! I am so excited for all the improvement. Time is such a hard concept to wrap our brains around sometimes. I struggle with His timiing and I applaud the effort and patience you have showed with Kooper! I have a special place in my heart for him:) Love you all

TanyaLea said...

Oh Connie ~ This really is a praise worthy report! I am so thankful that God is helping Kooper through this process. I know it has been so hard for him to let go and trust and open up...but like you said, he has never had anyone love him FOREVER. But I pray that through your family, as you peel away the layers, that Kooper will see his Heavenly Father's love for him through you and that he begins to receive it more openly.

I loved this: "We will never get it all right, but He never gets it wrong!" Oh how I needed that today. It's SO true!! God is good and He is faithful! Know that we will continue lifting your family and Kooper up in prayer.

Love and hugs,
~ Tanya

Kim said...

God is so very faithful!!
We continue to pray... for all of you!
I am so happy that you can see glimpses of God's work.
Love ya friend
Kim S

hollym. said...

I haven't written much lately, Connie, but I've never stopped thinking of and praying for your family. Baby steps are all we hope for. Trust will come in time.
Like a big ole onion, lots of layers to peel back...
Take care.

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