is so faithful and so very good ALWAYS!
It's as if our son had reached a crossroads, not knowing which way to turn. Do I take the path of risk, risking rejection, fear and heartache? Or do I take the path of familiarity, going to that place of safety, where I trust no one and have to invest nothing? He chose the place of safety, internalizing everything, exposing himself to no one.
It's not that we weren't there for him; he just didn't accept our extended hand of love. Oh, how my heart hurt for him. He was completely overwhelmed. I felt sorry for him...and maybe a little angry too, unable to understand why he couldn't realize how much we love him and have poured ourselves into him.
But that is totally beyond his comprehension. When has he ever been in one place FOREVER? When has anyone ever been there for him FOREVER? When has anyone loved him, no matter what, FOREVER? He simply can't comprehend such a relationship.
Last Wednesday afternoon he began to veer to the other path, the one that allows him to slowly reopen his heart. He began to see that we expect great things for him and from him. It's as if he's finally challenged himself to trust
I've wanted to share this because so many of YOU are praying for us! God is hearing and answering those prayers. He is peeling away the fear in Kooper's heart, one layer at a time. He is replacing it with courage.
Kooper has begun sharing more of history; he has become more affectionate and relational; he has begun speaking in sentences (**squeal**); and he has begun asking for my help during school. This is huge! He has typically refused to turn to us for help, apparently seeing that as a form of weakness.
I know the tough days aren't over, but I admit that the really rough moments have been like a final push to look beyond ourselves in bringing healing. And while we are finding a few of the missing pieces to the puzzle of his life, the real hope and healing come from only One Source! We will never get it all right, but He never gets it wrong!
I suspect this transition is as much about what God wants to do in our hearts as Kooper's. So thank you for praying, and please don't stop. We all need Him to continue to transform us!Now this is scary ;-)
Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.