Thank you for reading my post today and taking the time to comment, albeit anonymously. I would have responded earlier, but our family was at a softball game, “isolating” our son. While I want to believe you are only trying to help, I think there are better ways to do so, such as emailing me personally using either of the two addresses listed on my blog, or considering the facts before drawing conclusions.
I suppose that choosing to blog openly and publicly for the last three years has exposed me to such a critical comment (although you are the first). If you’ve been reading for any length of time, you already know that I have never claimed to be an expert at.anything. And unfortunately, it hasn’t taken me six months to understand where we are, but 21.75 years, for that’s how long I’ve been parenting. I confess I AM STILL learning…and frankly, I hope that never changes. Perhaps I should have consulted your expertise much earlier, but … you are Anonymous.
Anonymous, I also thank you for giving me yet another opportunity to cling to God’s daily renewed compassions, mercy and grace. I certainly have had a lot of chances to do so, especially the past six months, and just when I think I’m doing okay, I get yet another opportunity. So thank you for these moments of searching my heart and asking the Lord how He would have me respond.
Oh, Anonymous, I can’t possibly know what unfortunate circumstances you have faced, what deep hurts, criticism or loss which has led to your critical spirit. But please know this: I am praying for you, and the One Who hears my prayers knows you not as Anonymous, but by name.
Speaking of prayer, you say that, ‘just praying is not always the answer.’ I would wholeheartedly agree that there are times we need to stop praying and start doing! But the action we take should be guided by the time we’ve spent in prayer! See, I don’t have all the answers, but I know the One Who does! Oh, how He has confided His plans to me and caused me to bear the burden of ‘doing.’
Perhaps the view is clearer from the outside looking in when we are not consumed by the reality of the situation. So, Anonymous, if you would like to step out of the shadows and enlighten all of us, I invite you to do so.
I grant that you have made a few valid points, and without going back too far on my blog, you will see that these are things I agree with. Yes, my son is a 14 year old, and …well, if you have a clue what’s going on inside their precious heads, let me know. I would also agree that my son does not have the ‘language skills’ to express himself or his feelings. Oh, the issue of his feelings runs so much deeper than this, dear Anonymous. And finally, I would agree that we ALL need help ‘in getting through this.’ I have never denied that. In the last 12 months I have leaned on my Savior more than ever before. I simply could not have endured the insurmountable hurdles we’ve faced. I have even asked others to pray for us A LOT! I am so grateful we have and continue to receive the Help we need!
I do wish to address your concern, as you see it, that ‘he has no friends and is very isolated.’ I don’t know how you could possibly ‘see’ this, but so be it. If you mean isolated from the pressure of peers who don’t have his best interests at heart, isolated from drugs and alcohol, then you are absolutely correct. But my son has seven siblings, two parents, lots of extended family, a youth group, a church family and others who adore him.
Anonymous, in my nine year relationship with my Savior, I have learned that many times the Enemy rears his ugly head following God’s victories. I’m probably as thin skinned as the next gal, and a year ago I might have cowered after such criticism. But I have been armed with strength, truth, endurance, grace, mercy, joy and so much more. God’s Word tells us that if we choose to follow Him we WILL face trouble and persecution. In all honesty, I have no idea what true persecution feels like, but I have faced negativity, more so since we’ve been blessed by adoption. Unfortunately, there seems to be a pattern in these episodes. Most folks tell ‘a friend of a friend’ who will pass the negative remark on…or hide behind anonymity.
So, Anonymous, again I thank you for all the opportunities you have given me. I am praying for you, and should you ever decide to come out of hiding, I will be here.