Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Older Child Adoption, Part II

Every day I realize that God truly wants the glory for my son's raising! I'm reminded of my weaknesses and lack of qualification to transition a 13 year old from a life of 'running the orphanage' to thriving in a family. What's that cliche ~ if God brings ya' to it, He'll get ya' through it. But I don't want to just get through it; I want to excel! I want to meet the challenges head on! I want Him to grant me the strength, endurance and grace (oh, and joy) as I become the child He desires and the mom my son needs.

Of all the families, God chose us to parent our son, l.o.n.g. ago. We have found that we are suddenly teachers, which has never been a gift of mine (ask the kids). I have this mindset that people should be equipped with an inherent knowledge and ability to do things asked of them (nope, I'm not a teacher). That is a reflection on my inability to give clear instruction! And yet, I get to teach my son English, math, reading...and the really good stuff, Truth.

We had no idea what level of education our son had. The question everyone asked was, "Does he know English?" We were fighting so hard to get him home, we never considered the language issue, and in fact I boldly announced that 'the language of love will speak volumes.' To answer the question of whether he knew English: 'NO!'

In fact, our son's education is, at best, a 2nd grade level. See, somewhere along the way he might have been called a failure...or he was never challenged...or it was easier to let him do whatever he wanted...or all 3! In any case, he hasn't had any formal education for over 2 years, and we suspect 4. When we met him we asked what kind of student he was. The stammering and hem-hawing around should have been a good indication.

Our son seems to live by the philosophy that "if I don't try, I can't fail." Very sad. But we get to teach him that he can do anything he sets his mind to. We get to teach him that just because he can't catch a baseball the first time doesn't mean he's a failure. We got to teach him to ride a bike. We got to teach him to read his first book. We get to teach him about love. We get to teach him how to be a son, a little brother and a big brother.

And last night my 13-year-old son who's been home for 6 weeks asked if he could say the prayer at supper! God is so very good!

8 comments:

Barb said...

Connie: I appreciate your posts. You'll be surprised where you are 6 months from now instead of the 6 weeks you are at right now. I have faith that God will get you through the humps and give you strength to endure teaching and molding your 13 yo. Teaching is not my forte either and I totally feel for you. Try to keep your expectations reasonable as much as you can and it will be a pleasant surprise when those expectations are surpassed.

Barb said...

I forgot.....get some sleep!!!! I seem to remember posting in the wee hours of the morning once upon a time. Sorry! Had to tease ya'!

Andrea said...

....i was holding it together until I got to the "dinner prayer" part!SNIFF-SNIFF!
Ther is no telling what this kid will do once he realizes that he can DO anything.
xoxo,
A

Lori said...

Connie, you spoke my heart! Oh how my weaknesses have come to the surface in our journey but thankfully, like you, I know to turn to the Source of true strength! And by the way, I'm CONSTANTLY turning to that Source. Thank you, Jesus, for insisting that we lean on YOU!!!

We have been home for 3 months and have seen so much progress...but we have a long way to go. I celebrate each little victory.

Suzette said...

What a blessing to be chosen by HIM to parent our children. He will give you the wisdom you need to teach what you need to teach at just the right time. I am also concerned about the language issue when we get our 4 year old, but I know that language of love is where we will start.

Erica said...

I do not cry alot, but when a child is being taught and then turns around and acts out those actions he has been taught makes my Education based heart melt! If that makes sense! I loce to see children get it and understand. He has two very good teachers! Anyone can teach I promise:) Yay God is so good and Amen to him saying the prayer:)

Adeye said...

Oh my friend--I admire your obedience, your heart and your courage!!! Yes, He has called you...and will equip you. How amazing that your treasure prayed. Wow--that gives me chills. Just one day at a time, hey?

God is so amazing.

Just Me said...

Catching up on your blog...and of course, your post brought me to tears. :-)
~Lois

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