Sunday, January 10, 2010

Older Child Adoption, Part IV

What if this isn't his/her actual birthday? How can I cope with never knowing her biological parents? His medical history? Actual birthplace?

These are all questions that plagued me before we first adopted. After meeting our child, I realized that God gives us some things on a need-to-know basis...that I didn't need to know these things to love the child He placed in my arms.

In a perfect world, maybe I'd have all these answers...but in a perfect world, babies wouldn't be murdered in the womb, dumped in dark places, defenseless people wouldn't be the victims of another's rage, children wouldn't be starving, and there would be no need for the orphan's bed.

God created a perfect world, and then He created us, imperfect beings who tend to mess things up. Oh, how He must grieve over the 147 million orphans around the world, many of whom will never have a mommy and daddy to tuck them into bed. But He must grieve even more watching His children do nothing about it.

How many generations has it taken to become united in complacency? We are so consumed with storing up our treasures for retirement (where is that in the Bible anyway?), entertaining our minds, filling our bellies...and then patting ourselves on the back when we squeeze God into our busy schedules and throw a leftover bone to someone in need.

I've seen the statistic that if 7% of Christians adopted there would be no need for orphanages. Staggering! If 7% of us would put feet on our faith, and turn seeking and following Him into action words, the orphan bed would be empty!

As children of the Father, we want to be set apart...and yet we don't. We want to fit in and do things that are logical and make sense. But should the plans God has for us make sense to an unbelieving world?

We are in a constant struggle to do the right thing in God's eyes and the right thing in the eyes of society. What makes it even more difficult is that our fellow believers are doing the same thing. We steer away from those things that seem radical because they are so uncommon today.

We are commanded to, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-39; "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Rom 13:9); "This is my command: Love each other." (John 15:17).

What happened between the early church and our generation that we've forgotten these commands? What does it look like to love others 'as ourselves'? Doesn't it mean we should be spending at least as much time, energy, resources in loving others as we do ourselves? Do we just talk about how much we love others, or do we show it?

My prayer lately is that God would fill me with joy and cultivate it, and that His love would manifest itself into visible form onto the lives of others. It seems we all have a desire to fit in, but I question what I want to fit in to.

When I seek more stuff, more pleasure, more happiness, I'm always left dissatisfied, empty and hopeless. Seeking and following Him must be an action on my part; otherwise I'm drifting and fitting into common complacency. It's such a battle.

When we built our home, we thought when Kuyler left for college we'd extend the master bedroom, then maybe build a garage, a basement, a larger patio. Oh, I still long for those things some days, but He had much grander building plans for us! I'm convinced that on judgment day, God will not ask me, "Why didn't you build that garage? Or enlarge that room?"

My children have never asked those questions either. The size of my home or the kind of car I drive isn't nearly as important as what I will do with what He has given me. But what about the other children? Some are in need of medical care, many are hungry, many are close to losing their chance for a family due to their age...but all are in need of love: the love of the Father which is manifest through ordinary people like you and me.

Will we be set apart or will we look like so many others and serve safely, thinking about His commands rather than carrying them out? There are 147 million children waiting for us to respond.


Anonymous said...

You have quoted the facts sister:

I would say to anyone who feels they cannot adopt a child to get behind a family that is and support them generously because we should ALL be involved in some way. Adopting families shouldn't have to plead for support.

April said...

Connie, very well said! I love the paragraph about the perfect world and how if it was we would not have abortion, crimes of rage, orphanges. My heart breaks for all the children who dont have those mommy and daddys to tuck them in, and yet then my heart breaks when people just dont understand the love we have for our Lord ~ our heavenly father ~ We are all commanded to love the orphan (James 1:27), and there are so many ways to do that. Thank you for sharing your heart!

TanyaLea said...

Connie ~ This was SUCH a great post. I was especially taken in by this paragraph:

"How many generations has it taken to become united in complacency? We are so consumed with storing up our treasures for retirement (where is that in the Bible anyway?), entertaining our minds, filling our bellies...and then patting ourselves on the back when we squeeze God into our busy schedules and throw a leftover bone to someone in need."

Wow...seriously, how many of us have been guilty of that..."throwing a leftover bone" and then patting ourselves on the back. We've all done it. The statistics always blow me away...only 7% of Christian and there would be no oprhans!! We are ALL called to do something, even if we're not called to adopt...we still can make an impactful difference in the lives of these children. You should be preaching this in front of churches was SO well written!

God bless you, dear friend!! <><


Erica said...

Sometimes I run from the things God wants me to do most! I really do feel that God wants me to be a teacher and help every child who may have a home, but still needs love, nut at the same time my heart aches everytime I see pictures or hear you pour your heart out on your blog that part of my heart is so in love with adoption! I need it I love everything about it and this blog makes me really stop and think. Thanks for always sharing and being so strong! PTL

Kim said...

Beautifully written...the Holy Spirit was filling you up today sweet friend. Thank You for putting into words (so eloquently, I might add) all the things I am feeling. It is my desire to get our church involved in the orphan ministry...I may have to enlist your help...not making much progress on my own. It is so sad to me...
Love ya friend

Tina said...


I am just awe struck by your ability to write so profoundly. When we brought Alex home I was in a fog for so long and couldn't seem to focus on anything. You've just brought 2 blessings home and I stand amazed. I know God is using you and this blog to encourage others. Keep up the good work.


Tina said...

Wow I had no idea that if only 7% of Christian would adopt there would be no orphan!! That is SO powerful!!!!
I also want to THANK you for all your help and support with our adoption!!!!! It's friends like you that make it all better!!!

Love You~

The Harlow's said...

WOW!!! That is all I can say. You know my heart right now - and He spoke to me through you. Thank you my sister for following His direction in writing this.

Love you - and thank you for your prayers.


The Ferrill's said...

Oh YES! May I copy this, Connie?

GaelN said...

Wow, my bible study today went along with so much of what you said. From B.Moore "God surpasses our dreams when we reach past our personal plans and agendas to grab the hand of Christ and walk the path He chose for us." We will stay dissatisfied until we come to him and his plan for complete satisfaction.
How sorry I am for the times I've been too timid, too scared, too busy, too critical to grab His hand and step out in faith. What chances I've missed to "Come and share your Master's happiness" Mat 25:21. How thankful I am that HE forgives and gives me more opportunities!

Oatsvall Team said...

just sitting by Maggie's bedside and would love to scream AMEN SISTER .... keep it at the front of all of our minds ...

blessings sister ..

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