We interrupt the regularly scheduled programming to bring
you…a dose of reality.
First I want to thank each of you who had the courage to leave a comment or email, asking me to pray for your family, offering to pray for my family and telling me your story. You are such an encouragement! We are not alone!
So, what is trauma?
Depressed parental care
Pre and perinatal birth trauma
Loss of caregiver
Prolonged experiences of unmet needs
Unstable or unsafe environment
Experiencing or witnessing horrific injury or death of
*This list is not all-inclusive*
I realize I’m possibly in the minority of slow learners,
but quite frankly, this surprises me! I’ve
generally thought of a traumatic event as being a physical act. It truly opens my heart and mind to
understand trauma more clearly!
And of this long list, the fact that my child has experienced
many of them totally changes things for me!
I need to learn a new way of parenting.
Because many of our children have never been taught cause/effect thinking, but rather have lived in a state of ‘survival mode,’ the common forms of discipline for inappropriate behavior simply will not be effective.
Many of our children express anger or rage in times of
overwhelm and stress. We may think this is the root of the problem: they are deeply angry. In fact, the anger and frustration are manifestations of the true emotion: fear.
More on that in the next post.
I’m keeping this short and sweet because
I some of us may
need to simply absorb this information before moving on.
And now to revive that happy place within us, let’s run to
the secret chocolate stash (because if we’ve been dealing with this for any length of time, we all have one), call the one friend who doesn’t think we’re making this up, or curl up in a fetal position in a corner.
After all, those would be typical fear responses for us bigger people, right?!?