We have read comments such as, "Kids would be better off left in their native country," or "Why would you take a child away from the only 'family' he has ever known?"
And I have to tell ya', there was one day in China after we had both Kooper and Kinley that I wondered the same thing *sigh*. Kinley was completely shut down and Kooper was finding it difficult to keep up the facade of being a well-behaved 13 year old who wanted to come to the USA with his family. For a few short hours I seriously thought my two children might be better off with those they had considered family since shortly after birth. It didn't take me long to realize these were lies from the Enemy because he hates families! After praying and pleading for intercession from others, I realized that God had planned all along to redeem Kooper and Kinley from their brokenness by placing them in our family.
And today Kinley Grace is so well-adjusted that the screaming baby I first held a few months ago is only a memory brought on by looking at photos. Kooper has passed through so many phases over the last few months, I can't even remember all of them. He was once a selfish, distant child with little restraint and no desire to be challenged. Today he is more empathetic, more caring, finally desiring to communicate and s.l.o.w.l.y. accepting challenges. We are all growing!
I'm just going to highlight the bullet points in Amy's article, but I would encourage you to read it for yourself. While every child and every institution is different, our son would not have
1) Many people do not realize the deep and ingrained stigma that an orphaned child often faces in Chinese society.
2) Some people might ask how anyone would know you were an orphan after you left the institution. Couldn't you just keep it quiet?
3) Almost everything in Chinese society revolves around the family, and great reverence is given to one's ancestors and lineage.
4) Many people worry that the older children being adopted don't really want to leave their home country.
5) Another question that is frequently asked is why are we hearing about so many kids about ready to age out now when there were so few over the last ten years?