Memorial Box Monday ~ Joy in the Morning!

Memorial Box Monday! Please check out my friend, Linny's blog, for her awesome MBM post!

God is so faithful – always! The last year hasn’t exactly been a picnic at our place, but we’ve always claimed God’s promise to never leave nor forsake us. We’ve faced some challenges, some self-inflicted and others unexpected. We first had the flood which took us out of our home for several weeks, cost us time from our self-employment and dollars out of our pocket. Yet, through all of that, the Spirit spoke a second, slightly more challenging adoption into our hearts, which led to more fees and preparation. And God was faithful to provide and bring both our children home.

Once home, the challenges continued with the realization our Teenage Treasure needed to be home schooled in order to bond with family and learn English. More time off work, more challenges. And God was and is faithful!

It seems crazy that in the midst of the transition and striving for a new ‘normal’ that God would draw us back to China. Several months ago I sensed Him burdening me for those left behind and began asking Him what our role would be. Were we to walk alongside adoptive families; were we to advocate for waiting children; were we to fundraise for medical needs of orphans…? There was no clear answer except, “Seek me.” Jeremiah 29:13 ~ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

While I was praying for waiting children, I was not seeking ‘our child’ or trying to open a door; I was simply seeking Him. On July 28 an astounding thing happened. I received an email from an incredible agency that advocates for children who have been on the shared list more than 30 days. (You have to know something about CC*A rules to understand the significance of this J I emailed the agency, thanked them for causing awareness and shared my burden. One thing led to another…

Soon I was looking at the medical file of an adorable little girl, but her need was frightening. Clayton and I talked about it, agreed to pray, and quite honestly tried to ignore it. But then I sent her file to a specialist to get a ‘prognosis,’ sought other families who had children with the same need and requested as much information as the agency could get. More praying, more ignoring…I admit that fear was holding me back. I know that fear is of the enemy, so I continued to pray.

About three weeks later we received an amazing update that totally eliminated our fear of calling this child our own. Well, except for the fact that adoption costs money, lots of it. The last year has definitely left us without a ‘rainy day fund’ or ‘safety net.’ A lot happened in the next five days, and it is so evident that God’s hand was in the entire process.

We contacted our agency to see if they would be willing to facilitate the adoption…they agreed but added a few extra precautionary steps to make sure our Teen Treasure was adjusting well. These steps took longer than we expected, and the most significant thing that happened was the release of a new shared waiting child list. Our concern was that the positive update would draw attention to ‘our daughter’ and cause her file to be locked by someone else. The list came out Monday night, and the only thing we could do was completely hand it over to God. Father, either allow us to be her family or reveal her family and help us to rejoice in that.

As of Tuesday, we had no idea if her file was still available. My heart was breaking…but mostly because I had no answers. I had to ask myself if I really trust God or just say I trust Him. Every few minutes I handed my fears back to Him! At 12:30 Tuesday we got the green light to lock her file, without knowing if it was still open, but our agency rep was nowhere near the computer to lock the file. Handing it over to God…again…and again…and again.

At 2:30 that afternoon I sent a text message to five ‘long distance’ adoptive mamas who have become dear friends. No specifics, just that we were in need of prayer. These gals are prayer warriors! One of them immediately called me to see if she could pray specifically. I shared our story…and God showed up! She and her husband had recently returned from China with their two newest Treasures and weren’t ready to adopt again, but she was drawn to a beautiful little girl and decided to request her file and research her need. At the moment she received my text her computer was open to the file of a beautiful girl who would later be named Kasidi Joy! The fact she could open the file means it was still open! God used my friend to confirm that He was holding our daughter for us!

At 8:30 pm we finally received the long-awaited news that the file was locked for us. We are plowing forward, prepared to work hard to do our part, and leaning on God as our ‘safety net’ and ‘rainy day fund.’

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Prov 19:21

Memorial Box Monday ~ The Game

This was my very first Memorial Box Monday post on April 13, 2009! To learn more about Memorial Box Monday, please check out Linny's blog!

The Game

Wow, my very first Memorial Box Monday post! I thought it only fitting to share the moment Jesus saved me, July 26, 2001! I need to back up four years.

We had been faithfully attending church, having personal quiet times and reading the Bible. Kenzie had been born, had become very sick, and God had chosen to heal her. Soon after her recovery, Clayton and I began to contemplate accepting Christ. It seems strange now that it was such a difficult decision, but God had an awesome plan in the midst of our conversations and questions. We knew it was an individual decision, and we were each ready. The following Sunday, Clayton was so convicted of his need for Jesus that he couldn’t help but respond … and I followed suit. Little did I know that was only a baby step toward my walk with Christ.

I continued to study and serve. Eventually we sensed that God was calling us to a church within our own community, where Kuyler attended school and we resided. We began to make new friends and really enjoyed the fellowship with our new church family. We preferred serving ‘behind the scenes,’ but when the church requested prayer to fill the youth Sunday school teacher position, we felt we had to come out f the shadows. After much prayer and discussion, we couldn’t ignore the call. Even before that I had been asked to help with youth events, seemingly out of the blue, and had found out how much I loved this sometimes unlovable group of 13 to 18 year olds. Two weeks before we were to start teaching Sunday school I took my first trip to Falls Creek as a youth sponsor. I was scared to death, but found myself being challenged by the pastor and youth pastor. I even agreed to serve as an adult encourager, meaning that when a student responded to the invitation, I would help answer their questions and share the gospel with them. What an amazing opportunity!

During the last noon Tabernacle service we played “The Game.” We weren’t told how it was going to work; we learned only by observation, and then realized the object was to move as quickly as possible. So, we have 5,000 teens and adults in the Tabernacle, there are a few students on the stage who begin to move among the crowd. Some are holding tickets. Suddenly a ‘breaking’ news bulletin flashes on the overhead televisions. There’s been a wreck on the high road and everybody wearing flip flops has perished. If you have heard the Gospel and accepted Christ you are going to heaven (the stage), and if you have not accepted Christ, you are going to hell (the back of the tabernacle). So now that everyone knows how the game is played, suddenly we’re all frantically trying to reach the disciples. The rule is they must share their testimony and we must make a decision for Christ before the next tragedy strikes. Some of the disciples are also handing out ‘go to heaven free’ passes.

Finally our youth pastor heard the Gospel, accepted Christ and began sharing his testimony with me … but in the midst of sharing, tragedy struck and I was rendered ‘dead.’ It was only a game, but the climb over benches to get to ‘hell’ was the most daunting event. Then those of us banished to eternal fire had to sit and watch the rest of the game, and it was the most eerie feeling. In the end, the wheat was separated from the chaff (Matthew 3:12); however, those who thought they’d gotten into heaven on a free pass, were soon reminded there is only one way to spend eternity in Heaven, and that is through faith in Jesus, not a ‘get out of hell free’ pass (but I’m generally a good person; I go to church; I read my Bible; I’ve never committed a crime…).

The following week I was challenged to memorialize my testimony. As I sat down to write, there simply were no words. I realized even though I had been reading the Word, serving and attending church, I did NOT have a relationship with Jesus. I was doing things but had neglected the main thing: recognizing my sin and need for a Savior, turning my life over to Him. I was miserable. I couldn’t let another day go by without making this right … but Satan tried to get a hold of me by making me feel ashamed and embarrassed because so many people thought I was a Christian. How would I explain this? To what or whom would I credit my ‘growth’ over the past four years? I called my pastor, thinking he could help me sort through this. Truth is, the conviction was so strong there was no getting around it – I needed Christ!

In the middle of the afternoon in our living room with my husband and my pastor present, I wept, asked forgiveness, and trusted Christ as my Lord and Savior! Immediately I knew I had to be baptized, despite the potential embarrassment. I had to stand before my church family and testify what Jesus had done in my life, and thank God for his grace and mercy over the past four years. I realized if I had died, I would have been in total disbelief on judgment day when God would say to me, “I never knew you. Away from me….” (Matthew 7:23)

I was reminded of just how much my life had paralleled ‘the game.’ In the game I was ‘almost’ into heaven, but there are no ‘almosts’ concerning eternity.

That was almost nine years ago, and I haven’t looked back. No games, no passes, just the real deal from here on out!

Memorial Box Monday ~ The Tract

I've posted this MBM before, but as we near the 2nd anniversary of my dad's entering into glory, it bears repeating. Please visit Linny's blog for more Memorial Box Monday posts!

I miss my dad so much! But I also rejoice as I remember where he is now, even when I have to be reminded in the simple but heartfelt prayers of my five-year-old daughter, “God, I thank you that Granddad is in Heaven with you, and I want you to take good care of him.”

In November 2003, the month we announced we were adopting, my dad was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, metastasized to his lymph system. It was a huge shock, and we learned that with cancer, we must live day by day, always waiting for the next report, the next treatment, the next procedure, the next trial.

It was no secret that since the Lord had miraculously saved me, I had been trying to ‘help’ him bring my dad to Christ. Clayton and I had committed to certain lifestyle changes, new habits and traditions. I had even written my dad a lengthy letter asking him to accept Christ. But most of the time we were afraid to actually talk to him about the goodness of the Lord and how He had changed our lives. We were content to just ‘show’ him the difference.

All that changed in October 2007! Dad had miraculously survived almost four years of various treatments, but eventually the cancer had metastasized to his brain, near his optic nerve and my parents chose to undergo a pretty drastic procedure to retard the growth, without which Dad would have certainly become blind, and even worse, within a very short time.

We had an amazing Christmas that year with my brothers and our parents staying at our home. Though Dad was weak, he loved on all his grandkids, and we had seen a gradual ‘softening’ in him over time. Then on January 2, 2008 my mom called to say they were on the way to the hospital. Dad had become increasingly dizzy and disoriented. He ended up in ICU at Mercy Hospital in Oklahoma City. He had symptoms similar to a stroke. Little did we know he would never again walk or go home, home as we know it anyway.

Seeing him in such a frail state I feared all hope had been lost. This was not my dad. Why had I wasted so much time in fear of talking to him about the most important decision he could ever make? My brothers and I began praying that God would grant him lucid moments and give him breath until he had a chance to profess Jesus as His Lord and Savior.

I made the two hour trip to the hospital several times a week, praying the entire trip and always searching for opportunities to share with Dad. We were blessed with the fact that Dad always knew his kids, even though he might not have known anything else. We had many good moments, some good days, several good conversations and some really bad days. My brothers and I took advantage of every lucid moment the Lord granted us, but Dad’s answer was always, “Not today,” or “I might beat this thing.” We continued to pray. I admit, I became discouraged often and would call friends for godly counsel. In my heart, I just knew my dad would make a decision for the Lord, but it was obvious his time was running out.

Eventually, Dad was moved out of ICU onto the floor, then to a hospital closer to my parents’ home, and then sadly, into a nursing home. My mom practically lived in the home with him, only taking a short reprieve occasionally to go to work or travel home to feed their livestock.

Growing increasingly frustrated but still prayerful, one day as I was making the trip to see my parents, I called my brother, Kirk, and he shared with me that his prayer had become that God would somehow use my mom since she was the one who spent the most time with Dad. So the rest of the trip I prayed for the same thing.

My mom would always give me moments alone with Dad because she knew we were talking to him about the Lord, reading the Word and praying with him. On this day she told me of a tract my brother had left and asked if I might want to ‘try something different’ and use the tract.

I searched the room and never did find the tract, so I just resorted to what I knew, sharing what Jesus had done in my life. As my mom was walking me to the car, I told her I never could find the tract, but I had still shared with him, and once again his answer was, “I’m thinking about it, but not today.” Then she said these words, “I’ve been thinking that since I spend more time than anybody with him, maybe I need to start talking to him about making a decision.” I couldn’t believe my ears! God was already answering our prayers! I couldn’t wait to call my brother and tell him to keep prayin’!

Nearly a week later, May 8th to be exact, my mom called and tearfully told me, “He did it, Honey. He made a decision for the Lord!” I asked her to share every detail with me. She had used the ‘hidden’ tract to share the Gospel message with my dad, he read it, and made a decision! It was what we had been praying so long for!

Seven weeks later, on June 26, we celebrated my dad’s 62nd birthday, and one week after that, July 3, 2008, he went to his eternal home! While we miss him terribly, I believe his salvation has had a huge impact on many lives, to God’s glory.

I’m so glad I couldn’t find that silly tract. It was all part of God’s plan.

Memorial Box Monday (on Wednesday)

Rock of My World
One year ago today God rocked our world… and has continuously been the Rock of our world too! He confided a secret to us that we never saw coming! He revealed that we should adopt an older child.

What? Lord, don’t you remember me saying, “I praise God that some people are equipped to adopt older children, but it sure isn’t me”? Or what about when I said, “I could NEVER do that”?

I remember clearly first thinking, ‘How am I going to break this to Clayton?’ But I also remember clearly that God wouldn’t let go of my heart, no matter how much I protested. And so we prayed.

Have you ever experienced God’s perfect timing or his divine plans?

Unbeknownst to us, on the very day that God burdened my heart, there was a file of a particular 13 year old boy on its way back to China. Sadly, though many families had considered this child, none had ever followed through, and his chance for a family was running out.

After five days of praying, we had the confirmation we needed from the Lord to ask our agency to consider allowing us to adopt two children at the same time. We said we were not going to pursue any particular child, but “you know, a boy who is 13 and near aging out, he would be our son.”

To our amazement, as we prayed and rested during the night, CCAA produced the file they had just received of a certain 13 year old boy to our agency, and the next morning we got the news that we had a son! God had taken the brokenness of his life and redeemed it. He had brought a boy in need of a family and a family in need of The Rock together! In His glorious, always-perfect timing!

Had we known the challenges we would face in the coming twelve months, we would have run like the wind. But God gives us exactly the portion we need for a single day, and His mercies and compassions are renewed each morning! He was, and still is, faithful to reveal Himself through His Word, His provision, His mercies and His ability to overcome obstacles far beyond us.

He has moved mountain after mountain, and continues to do so as we journey onward. He has brought HIS plans to fruition by bringing our son home, a child that He has watched over and loved more than anyone else ever can or will.

It’s completely amazing to me that the God who breathed the Universe into existence would confide His miraculous plans to me or that He would change my plans in a single moment. He can join cultures, hearts and families!

I never want to miss a single thing He has for me. “Here am I. Send me!” Isa 6:8

Memorial Box Monday ~ Red Threads

RED THREADS~~~~~~~~~~

You want to know another thing I love about adoption ~ the people! We've made lifelong friends that we never would have met but for the miracle of adoption.

Some folks we've never actually met, except on line; some we've met on the OU Campus; some at adoption workshops; some we've traveled with; some we've gotten to spend time with in their homes; some on the phone; and some we've been friends with for a long time and have recently had the privilege of watching them step out into the journey of adoption.

This week a couple of really awesome things have happened to remind me that God is intentional about placing people in our lives.

A couple years ago our friends, Brad and Kim, brought their beautiful 8 year old daughter home from China, and as fate (NOT!) would have it, they met a young Chinese man, who happens to be a believer, and he was interested in helping them communicate with their newest daughter. Needless to say, they have built quite a relationship with this young man and are very close to he and his wife to this day.

Fast forward a couple years to this slightly aging and weary couple in small town Oklahoma who have been blessed to add a 13 year old son to their Khaotic family. Communication between these parents and their new son is largely through a series of signs, gestures, laughter, tears and misspoken words.

Every week the parents we desperately seek out another Chinese-speaking individual to relay some important messages to our son. But everyone we know, or hope to know, is so busy we are left to deal with communication issues on our own with the help of the Lord.

Through trial and error (mostly error), we have learned to use humor and various other means to communicate the really important stuff to our now 14-year-old son. But then we make the decision to home school him, which he initially is not happy about, we desperately want to communicate that it's not a punishment, but rather a matter of his best interest, and once again, there is no one to effectively translate this message.

Now, it should be noted here that we have been in constant contact with Brad and Kim in regard to adoption and home school issues, but only after having been home two and a half months do I recall they know a young man who has been such a blessing to them. We are immediately in contact with him but decide to wait until things level off a bit before he speaks to Kooper.

Fast forward a week, four amazing days of home school behind us, rebuilding family trust, and this young man calls to tell us he's been praying for us! Before we know it he's been on the phone with Kooper 15 minutes, and Mr. Talks-A-Lot Kooper has said very little other than, "M-hm, okay, yes...." In a short time this incredible young man has explained the importance of the love of the Father, family, faith, education, integrity and trust. And Kooper can't wait till the next time they talk! Now that's a red thread, woven by the hand of the Father!

From Kim's comment below:

Just to add a little note to Connie's post... the miracle of the young man mentioned is that he was granted a visa and traveled to America, meeting our daughter on her first days at home. He shared with us that only God could have granted that Visa as everyone else that day had been refused a Visa. He was questioned at length and then surprise,they granted his. He and his wife are two of the most precious people ...they want to do mission work. We told him that we think his mission work is helping the children and parents of older child adoption... God is truly amazing!!

And then there's another thread! On February 1, 2007, after waiting nearly two years, we received the referral of our fourth child, Kambry Hope. She was residing in the Welfare Institute of Xiushan in China. Two months later we traveled to her and got to meet her ayi.

Fast forward two and a half years, July 2009, when our friends David and April received the referral of their precious daughter, Emily. Guess where she's from?!? The Welfare Institute of Xiushan! Of all the orphanages in China, of all the families in the world! Call it fate ~ NOT!

I quickly put together a photo album of "Kambry" shots to send with David and April in hopes someone would remember who she was. Imagine my sweet surprise to see that Emily had the same ayi as Kambry!

A red thread, woven by the hand of the Father!

Kambry, in 2007 with her ayi, parents and one brother. You'll just have to check out David and April's site to see Emily with her ayi.

Memorial Box Monday ~ Giving Back

Giving back what is already His!
This is kind of hard to write because it involves a confession – yikes! But in order to share my testimony I need to get real!

Last month as the adoption process progressed and we realized we were going to soon need a LOT of funds to complete the journey we began to put the pencil to the paper. It just wasn’t adding up. We have been trusting God for everything in this process, following as He leads, finding that His plans are far greater than we had imagined. But the cost was escalating, and though we had come up with over half of it, there was still a l.a.r.g.e. balance.

We went to our friend and pastor and shared our hearts. For the previous processes we have been able to borrow the funds, if necessary, to complete the process. I know that debt is not the best option … but we have committed to do what was necessary to bring our children home, even it if means paying on a loan for the rest of our lives. Now, God has never allowed the debt to last very long – He’s always provided for timely repayment!

This time is different. Since starting up a new farming business, we have exhausted all collateral and ability to borrow. In the past we’ve felt we trusted the Lord completely for everything we needed, but this time we were really, really trusting Him. We’ve held fundraisers, giveaways, applied for 6 grants, received anonymous love offerings, cut our budget to bare bones and saved every penny we could, and still we were short – really short.

On September 12 we committed to fasting in order to seek the Lord. We desperately needed to hear from Him. Maybe He would confide His provisional plans to us. Or maybe, better yet, He would change us! We began our first extended fast. And the Lord spoke volumes.

Many times the enemy tried to make us doubt, question our motives, or remind us of our own weaknesses and allow discouragement. We spent a lot of time in the Word and in prayer, and God was faithful to speak. What we really wanted was direction, to know how He was going to provide all we needed, if we were to keep it to ourselves or make it public. We wanted Him to change our circumstances … but we didn’t expect Him to change US so much!

He began to remind us of Truths He had spoken to us months before about following Him with reckless abandon because His plans are so awesome and His power so limitless (Psa 40:5; Eph 3:20), others may forsake us but He never will (Psa 27:10), many may question our calling, but He is faithful to carry us outside the barriers of our comfort (Jer 29:11 ), He wants us to have abundant life here and now (Psa 27:13-14), and all good things come from Him (Psa 16:2).

We didn’t know how long the fast would last, but our prayer was that the Lord would speak the same things to each of us, individually. Throughout the week we shared things He had spoken to us, and then on Friday, were struck with an awful truth: we had become unfaithful in giving. In the previous months the budget had been tight, but there was no excuse. The simple truth is we had stopped recognizing that what we receive is God’s. We k.n.e.w. it was from Him, but we were not living that out by giving back. How He desperately wanted us to understand His abundant provision by trusting Him enough to give back to Him first. No wonder we were at a financial dead end! We lacked faith!

As we talked about it, we realized we needed to repent and start giving immediately no.matter.what! I am also grateful for the way He uses His faithful children to speak and live out His Truth. (Thank you, L, for taking the time to counsel and pray with us as well!)

Suddenly we were free! We still didn’t have the funds we needed, but we had the direction we so desperately sought. Our role is to faithfully give back. On a Friday evening, six days later we broke the fast.

Early Saturday morning a sweet sister from church stopped by, totally unexpected, and gave a gift of $1,000 toward our adoption! We shared our testimony of the previous seven days and told her that only $900 would be applied to our process because the first was for the Lord. That’s my God! We don’t deserve His blessing, but He is so faithful!

The following weeks as long-awaited paychecks began to arrive, we were so excited to set aside the Lord’s portion first, and He began to restore our finances! Still we lacked the amount needed for the adoption. Suddenly we had the idea of a benefit/fundraising dinner. We weren’t really sure how it would go over, but with the encouragement and prayers of our brother/friend/pastor we quickly put it together. We mailed personal invitations, spoke to our ministerial alliance and hung flyers.

Five days later we prepared a pasta feast with expectations of feeding 300 hungry guests. The weather turned cold and illness was rampant. But we had been praying for God’s provision. We had been placing our hope in Him. We knew He was speaking to the hearts of His children and many would respond. We just knew it. We were told over and over again by dear friends that He was surely going to do something big … and we had no idea how big!

We probably served between 150 and 200 people, but we were not discouraged. The cash box was whisked away as we began the massive cleanup effort. In hindsight I’m so glad it happened the way it did. Our pastor (friend!) has been one of our biggest prayer warriors and encouragers over the last six years of adoption blessings, and he was the one who shared what God had miraculously done on a cold Tuesday evening in a small church in a town of 500 citizens. We needed $21,000 to complete our process, and God provided $21,115!!!!

Because so many wish to remain anonymous, we do not know who gave or how much. We apologize that we can’t thank each individual personally, but publicly we say THANK YOU for seeking and responding to our Heavenly Father, and we PRAISE YOU, Father, for knowing and providing exactly what we need! Even when we are not faithful, YOU ARE!

Memorial Box Monday ~ My Grace is Sufficient

My grace is sufficient!
Minding my own business, getting ready for work in late 2003, and on the radio I hear this incredible testimony of how an 11 year old girl prayed, encouraged and finally inspired her parents to adopt from China. It was as if the audible voice of God was whispering amazing plans into my pounding heart.

I’ve shared my testimony many times of how He spoke adoption into our family, and I will continue to praise Him for changing our lives! We had never talked about adopting, didn’t know anything about the international process, and we certainly didn’t realize there were over 143 million orphans worldwide needing loving parents to tuck them into bed every night.

As we dove into the process and learned more about it, we often became overwhelmed and weary. We serve an amazing God who knows our every need, and at that point in our faith (I had been a believer for 2 years and Clayton for 6) He knew we needed confirmation that we were following His calling and not stepping out on a limb on our own strength.

For 11 months we claimed the promise in 2 Corinthians 12:9(a) “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” We questioned our abilities so many times. We questioned how we would afford the process. We questioned our ability to love. I will testify that on September 21, 2004 I learned love takes on an entirely new realm when we love through our Heavenly Father! All the questions, fears and doubt were washed away as the Lord sweetly affirmed His plan for our family and Kayden Faith was placed in our arms.

We had kept this journey to ourselves for several months so we would know for certain it was what God intended for us. We were immature spiritually, but we didn’t want to be influenced by human wisdom. We really wanted to shout from the rooftop what God was doing, and once we did we were often asked by family and strangers why we would adopt … and why from China. Everyone wanted a ‘logical’ answer. We had thrown logic out the window and decided to follow the Lord with reckless abandon, trusting Him for everything we needed. His Word enlightened, refreshed and motivated us. His people encouraged us. His Spirit moved us. His love enveloped us.

I am convinced the more time we spend in His Word and in intimate prayer, the more we know Him and can hear His voice. But I also am convinced the Spirit is constantly moving and speaking, even when we least expect to hear, “My grace is sufficient for you…”

Memorial Box Monday postponed till ...

Thank y'all for keeping me accountable :) I really think it's in our best interest to wait for PA to share all that God has done (so you can pray it comes today!!) And then we will testify to His goodness that is beyond our imagination. In His perfect timing, I will be able to hit "Publish Post." Until then, may you have a beautiful day!

Memorial Box Monday - All We Need and Even What We Want

Look what April surprised me with - a Memorial Box! The picture doesn't do it justice. It's really beautiful! Thank you, April!
All we need and even what we want
I remember so clearly in 2004 barely arriving home with our precious Kayden Faith and the Lord began probing my heart about a second adoption. I couldn’t escape His voice. It was in every sermon, every Sunday school lesson, and every devotion. Reality struck twice: our adoption agency told us we couldn’t submit another application until we’d been home six months … and the thousands of dollars we still owed from our first process, not to mention the funds we’d need to start again. As crazy an idea as it seemed, we weren’t really worried about the debt because God had proven Himself faithful, as always, and we knew He would creatively provide all we needed.

We continued to seek the Lord, and occasionally I reminded Clayton that I had the application printed and all he’d have to do was sign it – at which time he reminded me that I am NOT the Holy Spirit! Just after the six month mark, we were talking about our individual quiet times when God spoke very clearly through Scripture that He wanted us to proceed and it would be disobedient for us to put it off any longer. You guessed it, Clayton signed the application and it was mailed that very day!

Now we were excited to see how God was going to provide for a second journey. At that time, adoption from China was going rather quickly and we expected to have our child home within a year. That changed once our dossier was sent to China in September 2005. There was an unexpected and increasing slowdown in the process, which continues to this day. A journey we once thought would take ten months stretched into two years of waiting. But in that time we saw God provide in amazing ways. We received two financial assistance grants, began a fundraiser, used our tax refund to pay off the prior adoption debt, and suddenly we were within a month of travel and realized we had every single dime we needed for the trip.

There were only three items we were lacking and, frankly, knew we could do without for a while at least: A toddler bed for Kayden, another car seat and high chair. We had estimated what these items would cost and written it down. We hadn’t shared it with anyone. After all, our God is so big He had provided thousands for this journey! We couldn’t dare ask for more.

Then one day in the mail we received a beautiful card with encouraging words – and a check for exactly what we needed to complete our ‘wish list.’ It was from an adoptive family we had never met. They had recently arrived home with their precious daughter and the Lord impressed upon them that we had an unspoken need. Truly, our God knows what we need, even before we ask – and many times He even gives us what we want!

Obviously, today has been an amazing day for our family. We thank you for your kind comments and encouraging words. My prayer is that next Monday I will get to share the most amazing Memorial Box 'moment' that I have ever experienced from our awesome God.
However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" 1 Cor 2:9

Memorial Box Monday - Hidden Tract

I miss my dad so much! But I also rejoice as I remember where he is now, even when I have to be reminded in the simple but heartfelt prayers of my five-year-old daughter, “God, I thank you that Granddad is in Heaven with you, and I want you to take good care of him.”

In November 2003, the month we announced we were adopting, my dad was diagnosed with malignant melanoma, metastasized to his lymph system. It was a huge shock, and we learned that with cancer, we must live day by day, always waiting for the next report, the next treatment, the next procedure, the next trial.

It was no secret that since the Lord had miraculously saved me, I had been trying to ‘help’ him bring my dad to Christ. Clayton and I had committed to certain lifestyle changes, new habits and traditions. I had even written my dad a lengthy letter asking him to accept Christ. But most of the time we were afraid to actually talk to him about the goodness of the Lord and how He had changed our lives. We were content to just ‘show’ him the difference.

All that changed in October 2007! Dad had miraculously survived almost four years of various treatments, but eventually the cancer had metastasized to his brain, near his optic nerve and my parents chose to undergo a pretty drastic procedure to retard the growth, without which Dad would have certainly become blind, and even worse, within a very short time.

We had an amazing Christmas that year with my brothers and our parents staying at our home. Though Dad was weak, he loved on all his grandkids, and we had seen a gradual ‘softening’ in him over time. Then on January 2, 2008 my mom called to say they were on the way to the hospital. Dad had become increasingly dizzy and disoriented. He ended up in ICU at Mercy Hospital in Oklahoma City. He had symptoms similar to a stroke. Little did we know he would never again walk or go home, home as we know it anyway.

Seeing him in such a frail state I feared all hope had been lost. This was not my dad. Why had I wasted so much time in fear of talking to him about the most important decision he could ever make? My brothers and I began praying that God would grant him lucid moments and give him breath until he had a chance to profess Jesus as His Lord and Savior.

I made the two hour trip to the hospital several times a week, praying the entire trip and always searching for opportunities to share with Dad. We were blessed with the fact that Dad always knew his kids, even though he might not have known anything else. We had many good moments, some good days, several good conversations and some really bad days. My brothers and I took advantage of every lucid moment the Lord granted us, but Dad’s answer was always, “Not today,” or “I might beat this thing.” We continued to pray. I admit, I became discouraged often and would call friends for godly counsel. In my heart, I just knew my dad would make a decision for the Lord, but it was obvious his time was running out.

Eventually, Dad was moved out of ICU onto the floor, then to a hospital closer to my parents’ home, and then sadly, into a nursing home. My mom practically lived in the home with him, only taking a short reprieve occasionally to go to work or travel home to feed their livestock.

Growing increasingly frustrated but still prayerful, one day as I was making the trip to see my parents, I called my brother, Kirk, and he shared with me that his prayer had become that God would somehow use my mom since she was the one who spent the most time with Dad. So the rest of the trip I prayed for the same thing.

My mom would always give me moments alone with Dad because she knew we were talking to him about the Lord, reading the Word and praying with him. On this day she told me of a tract my brother had left and asked if I might want to ‘try something different’ and use the tract. I searched the room and never did find the tract, so I just resorted to what I knew, sharing what Jesus had done in my life. As my mom was walking me to the car, I told her I never could find the tract, but I had still shared with him, and once again his answer was, “I’m thinking about it, but not today.” Then she said these words, “I’ve been thinking that since I spend more time than anybody with him, maybe I need to start talking to him about making a decision.” I couldn’t believe my ears! God was already answering our prayers! I couldn’t wait to call my brother and tell him to keep prayin’!

Nearly a week later, May 8th to be exact, my mom called and tearfully told me, “He did it, Honey. He made a decision for the Lord!” I asked her to share every detail with me. She had used the ‘hidden’ tract to share the Gospel message with my dad, he read it, and made a decision! It was what we had been praying so long for!
Seven weeks later, on June 26, we celebrated my dad’s 62nd birthday, and one week after that, July 3, 2008, he went to his eternal home! While we miss him terribly, I believe his salvation has had a huge impact on many lives, to God’s glory.

I’m so glad I couldn’t find that silly tract. It was all part of God’s plan.

Memorial Box Monday ~ Salt and Light

I remember the amazing weeks before we traveled to China in 2004 to meet our daughter, Kayden, for the first time.
I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, packed and repacked, reviewed the itinerary a million times … but more than anything else, I prayed. We had no idea what God was asking us to do 10 months before, but we knew it was in His hands and we were willing to join Him on this amazing, unexpected, miraculous journey.
We had never traveled internationally and had been sternly reminded by our agency that this was an adoption trip and we could take our personal Bibles but should not take a suitcase full of them. Still, our prayer was that God would allow us to be salt and light while in China. Though we might not be allowed to bring up spiritual issues, we would be prepared to answer questions if asked.
We arrived in Nanning with two other families we will be forever bonded with, and met our guide, A. We knew right away she was an amazing woman. Soon after meeting, she approached Clayton and told him she thought there was something special about him, was he a Christian?!?

He was so excited to tell her yes and share his testimony. She then proceeded to explain that she had become a Christian only three months earlier. She had facilitated the adoption of 14 children, and the parents had a celebration to share their testimonies. God had used this time to call her to repentance and salvation! She was praying for her husband, and he was beginning to ask questions. She had been reading her Bible ever since and had recently come across a passage she didn’t understand and wanted to know if Clayton would help her with it. The passage was none other than Matthew 5: 13-14!
13“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14 You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden.”
We were astonished at God’s divine appointment! Before we tearfully left Nanning, A agreed to share her testimony on video. We were blessed to spend so much time in deep spiritual conversation. I remember visiting a park and we asked what a particular wooden sign said. She told us the meaning was something like “Chinese know the secret to happy living …” Then she smiled and said, but we know the Real Secret!
God had answered so many prayers on that journey, but to realize He cares enough to answer one specific request is beyond our understanding! We should be careful what we pray for because He is able and willing to answer!

Memorial Box Monday ~ The Game

Wow, my very first Memorial Box Monday post! My friend, Linny, at A Place Called Simplicity, has this amazing thing called a Memorial Box. They have chosen a 'memorial box' to hold trinkets of "God" moments to memorialize His amazing faithfulness, goodness and provision. As a family they choose the items that go in the box. Our family hasn't found the perfect memorial box yet, but I love the idea of capturing God moments (especially since I frequently find myself blaming my kiddos for my increasing memory loss), so I wanted to start the same tradition for our family. I'm a little nervous about doing this for fear I may not be able to organize my thoughts or convey the message, but I'm going to leave that all up to the Lord! I thought for my first Memorial Box Monday post it's only fitting to share the moment Jesus saved me, July 26, 2001! I need to back up four years.

"THE GAME"

We had been faithfully attending church, having personal quiet times and reading the Bible. Kenzie had been born, had become very sick, and God had chosen to heal her. Soon after her recovery, Clayton and I began to contemplate accepting Christ. It seems strange now that it was such a difficult decision, but God had an awesome plan in the midst of our conversations and questions. We knew it was an individual decision, and we were each ready. The following Sunday, Clayton was so convicted of his need for Jesus that he couldn’t help but respond … and I followed suit. Little did I know that was only a baby step toward my walk with Christ.
I continued to study and serve.

Eventually we sensed that God was calling us to a church within our own community, where Kuyler attended school and we resided. We began to make new friends and really enjoyed the fellowship with our new church family. We preferred serving ‘behind the scenes,’ but when the church requested prayer to fill the youth Sunday school teacher position, we felt we had to come out f the shadows. After much prayer and discussion, we couldn’t ignore the call. Even before that I had been asked to help with youth events, seemingly out of the blue, and had found out how much I loved this sometimes unlovable group of 13 to 18 year olds.

Two weeks before we were to start teaching Sunday school I took my first trip to Falls Creek as a youth sponsor. I was scared to death, but found myself being challenged by the pastor and youth pastor. I even agreed to serve as an adult encourager, meaning that when a student responded to the invitation, I would help answer their questions and share the gospel with them. What an amazing opportunity!
During the last noon Tabernacle service we played “The Game.” We weren’t told how it was going to work; we learned only by observation, and then realized the object was to move as quickly as possible. So, we have 5,000 teens and adults in the Tabernacle, there are a few students on the stage who begin to move among the crowd. Some are holding tickets. Suddenly a ‘breaking’ news bulletin flashes on the overhead televisions. There’s been a wreck on the high road and everybody wearing flip flops has perished. If you have heard the Gospel and accepted Christ you are going to heaven (the stage), and if you have not accepted Christ, you are going to hell (the back of the tabernacle).

So now that everyone knows how the game is played, suddenly we’re all frantically trying to reach the disciples. The rule is they must share their testimony and we must make a decision for Christ before the next tragedy strikes. Some of the disciples are also handing out ‘go to heaven free’ passes.
Finally our youth pastor heard the Gospel, accepted Christ and began sharing his testimony with me … but in the midst of sharing, tragedy struck and I was rendered ‘dead.’ It was only a game, but the climb over benches to get to ‘hell’ was the most daunting event. Then those of us banished to eternal fire had to sit and watch the rest of the game, and it was the most eerie feeling. In the end, the wheat was separated from the chaff (Matthew 3:12); however, those who thought they’d gotten into heaven on a free pass, were soon reminded there is only one way to spend eternity in Heaven, and that is through faith in Jesus, not a ‘get out of hell free’ pass (but I’m such a good person; I go to church; I read my Bible; I’ve never committed a crime…).
The following week I was challenged to memorialize my testimony. As I sat down to write, there simply were no words. I realized even though I had been reading the Word, serving and attending church, I did NOT have a relationship with Jesus. I was doing things but had neglected the main thing: recognizing my sin and need for a Savior, turning my life over to Him. I was miserable. I couldn’t let another day go by without making this right … but Satan tried to get a hold of me by making me feel ashamed and embarrassed because so many people thought I was a Christian. How would I explain this? To what or whom would I credit my ‘growth’ over the past four years? I called my pastor, thinking he could help me sort through this. Truth is, the conviction was so strong there was no getting around it – I needed Christ!
In the middle of the afternoon in our living room with my husband and my pastor present, I wept, asked forgiveness, and trusted Christ as my Lord and Savior! Immediately I knew I had to be baptized, despite the potential embarrassment. I had to stand before my church family and testify what Jesus had done in my life, and thank God for his grace and mercy over the past four years. I realized if I had died, I would have been in total disbelief on judgment day when God would say to me, “I never knew you. Away from me….” (Matthew 7:23)
I was reminded of just how much my life had paralleled ‘the game.’ In the game I was ‘almost’ into heaven, but there are no ‘almosts’ concerning eternity. That was seven years ago, and I haven’t looked back. No games, no passes, just the real deal from here on out!