Reflection

Isn't that what funeral services are really about, reflection ~ into the life of our cherished love one; into what God has done for us; into our own lives.

As I reflect on Roxie's life, I am reminded of her love for the Lord and for people. Roxie always made time for people. She could never be caught off guard! She would stop what she was doing to take time with someone who dropped by, and if it was near mealtime she would whip up a masterpiece, with plenty to spare. She always had time for her girls, and her legacy of loving children is passed on to them. Roxie didn't sweat the small stuff. She knew what was important!

Her service yesterday was so peaceful, just like her life. There was a gentle, peaceful snow falling, and for me it was God's reminder of Roxie's life. After a seven-month courageous fight with cancer, she passed peacefully after saying her goodbyes.

I couldn't help but think of my dad's service a year and a half ago as I reflected on God's goodness, grace and mercy. The Lord allowed my dad to pass peacefully after a lengthy battle with cancer. His last days were heartbreaking as his body succumbed to the enemy within. But as I left his room for the last time, I told him how much I loved him and that it was okay to go home since he had done business with the Lord and accepted Jesus just a few weeks prior. He squeezed my hand in the way my dad always squeezed my hand! We simply cannot comprehend God's mercy. He extended the same mercy to my dad, who lived a life of rebellion, as He did my sweet sister Roxie, who had surrendered to a life of love and service long ago. There are no words to describe my God! "I AM WHO I AM."

I can't even imagine the splendor of Heaven, but I can see Roxie surrounded by the children who, in our minds, have gone much too soon. She is not comforting them because there is no sadness, but rather sharing laughter and praising the Father!

As I reflect on my life and the season I'm in, I am clinging to God's grace and mercy. He is slowly molding me into the wife and mother He desires. He's allowed me to tap into the same grace in dealing with our transition. He has brought our newest Treasures so far, only by His grace. A week ago we couldn't have taken this same journey to Kansas, but yesterday we realized the changes God has brought in such a short time. Though he understood very little, Kooper did fantastic yesterday. He was quiet and courteous. Our daily life requires structure with enough flexibility to allow spontaneity. Structure I am good at; spontaneity not so much...but I am learning. We are reminded of our inconsistencies, and we are closing the gap. Daily I am reminded of my own insecurities outside the parenting of my Heavenly Father as I see Kinley blossom before our eyes.

Father, thank you for your grace, mercy and love. Thank you for changing me, ever so slowly, as I am so human and selfish. But gradually, as those around me look closely, may I fade into the distance as they begin to see You more clearly. In Jesus' name, amen.