tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post6521464684948702336..comments2023-10-25T08:22:27.803-05:00Comments on One More Ladybug: Trauma, Part IConnie Jhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03105757409356865785noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-57778763784514316402012-09-19T09:18:31.440-05:002012-09-19T09:18:31.440-05:00Thank you for this post. I am living with and wor...Thank you for this post. I am living with and working through the same things, even after 2 1/2 years. Our daughter's issues are such a complex, multi-faceted, tangled mess and it is difficult to identify the reasons for her behaviors individually. Fear, inability to trust, low self esteem, anxiety, very controlling, PTSD, sensory issues, not understanding consequences to her own actions, emotional instability, afraid to be happy, afraid to speak, overly silly and charming...all of these things stem from trauma. We have seen her sharp edge soften, but the roots to these issues are still strong and deep. It just takes time!!Heather Austinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03701631118516586424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-71237561440659436992012-09-12T02:48:03.513-05:002012-09-12T02:48:03.513-05:00Right there with you...thank you for this post. We...Right there with you...thank you for this post. We have three beautiful girls from hard places that have experienced trauma in their short lives and one special needs grandson...yeah...our home is alot like the way you describe yours. Happy laughter and playing together one minute and rage and anger the next. Sometimes the bio kids are just as guilty if not more so. I long to know how to teach them kindness, thoughtfulness, manners, respect, treat others the way you want to be treated, ect... Still working on being a better parent and having a better response. There are good days and shocking times of progress when I think just maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel and God is working His healing touch in their wounded hearts. Even on the hardest days, I would not change a thing. Thank you for the honest post.Melaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02821737661732142946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-54865284659409630742012-09-06T08:39:44.715-05:002012-09-06T08:39:44.715-05:00I can relate and find your honesty refreshing. Ta...I can relate and find your honesty refreshing. Taking it a day at a time is really the best way to go. Spent years with my oldest daughter living a life in public where she was angel who garnered praise everywhere we went, only to return home and deal with the exact opposite. Severe RAD and PTSD became reality for us all. My fears of our son being permanently scarred having to protect him from her haunted me. Yet the Lord was SO faithful. Today she is a truly happy, balanced, bonded, loving and able to receive love, grown, married young woman. Hang in there, healing is possible. I remind myself of this now as we raise our youngest who has been with us almost two years and is dealing with the delemma of bonding and attachment. Healing from an identity that tells her she's basically "bad" and needs to reinforce this identity with negative actions. It's a process to try to assist in reprogramming those negative self images.Lyndahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12641541238066922964noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-5260989001048887852012-09-05T21:51:40.241-05:002012-09-05T21:51:40.241-05:00Hey...Ohh...You talking to me?
We're 3 yrs ou...Hey...Ohh...You talking to me?<br /><br />We're 3 yrs out and still working on the same stinking things! Small world, this trauma thing...this RADical thing that attachment is (or isn't in our cases).<br /><br />Its amazing because our kiddos can be SOOO charming and everyone is so blinded by the charming deception (and subtle manipulation) they think we're nuts! <br /><br />However, they don't see the gory side of it...the fits and rages. The words said just to hurt someone (because said someone made him mad 2 days ago) or even the physical injuries caused by said little man because of fear. <br /><br />No self-esteem and fear drive them to do the unthinkable. Nope, have no idea what your going through...<br /><br />Seriously, though, after 3 years we DO see improvement and Praise HIM for that...and our current adoption is just the perfect storm for behaviors...Pray for the rest of us in the trenches right now!Jolenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05951367929237400765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-13893662605988550412012-09-05T16:03:34.865-05:002012-09-05T16:03:34.865-05:00Just returned from a 4 hr evaluation in the behavi...Just returned from a 4 hr evaluation in the behavioral health dept at our children's hospital. I feel exhausted...and no one said the visit was unwarrented or that we've overreacted; in fact, they say just the opposite. Our eggshell isn't even creeping up the side of the bowl yet :( You are so not alone on this tough journey. Prayers for endurance for us all....Difference2This1https://www.blogger.com/profile/00984690062311016144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-18593319510228575102012-09-05T14:25:22.380-05:002012-09-05T14:25:22.380-05:00Connie,
I echo what Tobi said... we have 2 waiting...Connie,<br />I echo what Tobi said... we have 2 waiting for us in China (13 & 4). It's been a long road... I'm beyond the days of eager anticipation, like you mentioned above, and have moved into this stange & scary place called uncertainty. BUT I know the God who called us to this is faithful. I just keep telling myself this. I have all the same fears for my biological kids (4 of them under 13 yrs old)as you also mentioned. What is this going to do to our "peaceful" home? It's already not as "peaceful" as I'd like. You know? Thanks for sharing. Keep it coming...<br />Blessings,<br />RebeccaRebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07491557956365930179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-33822637222037817672012-09-05T13:55:57.528-05:002012-09-05T13:55:57.528-05:00Connie, Thank you for today's post. We are st...Connie, Thank you for today's post. We are still waiting for our first one or two from Ethiopia. I want to be as prepared for the trauma as possible. I don't want to walk blindly into adoption. I learn best and most from authentic women like you that speak honestly, telling us like it is. God is honored by that. I'm sure it's hard to post the not-so-fun moments but I do appreciate it!Tobi Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06669899658327554945noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-76918189642048723692012-09-05T13:30:45.189-05:002012-09-05T13:30:45.189-05:00I "get" everything you are saying here. ...I "get" everything you are saying here. Being almost 27 months into this, our ever so slow healing progress mirrors yours. It's so difficult to stay focus on the goal most days. All your reasons to write this post are things I think about all the time...this one really struck home: trying to affirm that my family is not doomed and that my children won't grow up miserable, resentful, etc. <br /><br />I would love to hear more about your non-traditional counseling either on your blog or private email...for the benefit of trying to discover what may truly help our traumatized child and maintain our family's peace.Carihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14559175677390596901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-58024932557112504832012-09-05T12:47:22.763-05:002012-09-05T12:47:22.763-05:00Thankyou for sharing and being honest. As a mom w...Thankyou for sharing and being honest. As a mom who's trying to prepare as best I can to parent a very traumatized 6yr old child I appreciate your words of wisdom, and experience.Carlahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14317610661817876605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7380988010128963744.post-45824050398169531002012-09-05T11:29:15.368-05:002012-09-05T11:29:15.368-05:00Thank you for this post. I can strongly relate. ...Thank you for this post. I can strongly relate. I loved Jen's post, although we have not hit those positive milestones nearly as quickly as her kiddos did. We are 15 months home, and there is still much unpredictable fear, anxiety, and brokenness to be healed. Not gonna lie and say it's been super fun. Nope. I am one who greatly appreciates knowing I'm not alone...and being reminded that God is faithful. :) Jerushahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00783329946309070801noreply@blogger.com